Brighter Stars // Billie Eilish gxg

t w e n t y f i v e

Billie's POV

"I cannot even begin to express how fucking stupid we're being." Finneas says, switching into the left lane.

I shoot a glare in his direction.

"You need to drive faster." I jeer.

"I'm already going 15 over, Billie. I know you're worried but we can't die on the way to save her." Finneas says, stressfully running his hand through his hair.

I look out of my window, trying to bite my tongue.

"We're 9 hours out now, Billie. I'm already getting tired and you know we can't get there faster than 9 hours." Finneas says, calmly.

"I wish I could just fucking teleport there dude. They sent me their address for a reason." I say, rubbing my eyes.

"I know, which is why I think Carmen is going to be alive when we get there." Finneas says, trying to reassure me.

"She has to be." I say firmly.

"They must want money or something. I guess that would be the best case scenario." Finneas says, blinking his eyes out of sleepiness.

"I don't know if it's money though, Fin. This all feels very fucked up." I respond.

"I just hope it's money." Finneas says.

I lean back in my seat and look at Finneas. He yawns and turns up the volume of the music.

"Do you wanna take shifts? You look too tired to drive." I offer, worried about the state he's in.

"I would say fuck no, because I don't trust you driving my car for shit, but I'm about to pass out so, fine." Finneas says, immediately exiting the highway and pulling to the side of the road.

We quickly hop out and switch seats. As soon as we both close our doors I lock them.

"Could you have pulled into a fucking gas station or something? It's too dark to be pulling onto the side of a highway in the middle of nowhere, doofus." I say, buckling up and adjusting the seat.

"I'm fucking sleepy dude." Finneas says, reclining his seat.

I shift into drive then merge onto the highway.

The next 4 hours go by in a blur of highway hypnosis. Finneas napped for a little while but has been on his phone silently scrolling for the past 30 minutes or so.

I feel myself getting sleepy. I grab my phone and shuffle my favorite playlist.

I used to be an expert at staying up past 2 in the morning, but these past few days have literally fucked my sleep schedule.

It's not so easy to sleep when all I think about is what could be happening to Carmen. If she's hurting, scared, or even fucking alive.

It certainly does not help that I fell in love with her either.

She's all I can think about. Everything about her haunts me. Her eyes, her laugh, her body, her touch.

The way that she constantly teases me. The way she looks at my lips. The way I can feel her falling for me too.

I feel like I can't catch my breath. Like I'm overwhelmed by her. Every single moment I'm with her, I don't want anything else. It's insane, really.

These feelings felt so beautiful in the beginning. But now they've turned into bricks that are crashing down on me. It's scary that all of these things could be gone forever. It's scary to think that she hates me. Or that she's hurt.

My mind goes in spirals. I'm overwhelmed with love and hurt and fear.

"BILLIE! HOLY SHIT!" I hear Finneas exclaim, jerking the wheel from my hand.

I sit up abruptly.

The car had veered towards the concrete barrier surrounding the highway, but Finneas jerked the wheel back towards the road.

I slam the breaks as we slide to a halt on the side of the highway.

We sit in silence on the empty highway for a moment, catching our breath.

"Did you fall asleep, Billie?" Finneas asks, clearly in shock.

"I don't know." I whisper, trying to calm myself down.

Finneas leans over the center console and wraps me in his arms.

"You almost killed us both but I forgive you." Finneas says, squeezing me.

I bury my face in his shoulder and sink into his embrace.

"I'm sorry." I mutter, feeling my eyes close from the heaviness of this fear and exhaustion.

"Let's swap seats. I feel rested enough to drive the rest of the way." Finneas says, letting me go.

I silently get out of the car on the side of the road and flop into the passenger seat.

Finneas takes a deep breath and starts the car back towards the highway.

"We only have a few hours left. Sleep, please." Finneas says.

Breathless, I curl into a ball on the passenger seat. My eyes close and I feel myself drifting off with ease. I will have Carmen back when I wake. 

//

my toxic trait is that i update this only once per six months :P