Love Magic [on-going]

Clear Magic

Is his father a bad father?

He looked back to the times he started to have awareness and understanding of his own. A little baby who only knew one parent and not two, a baby who regards the young man in his eyes as his protector, provider, and forever confidant.

There was a time when he got a fever and saw how panicked his father was. He is a wizard but at that moment of fear, he lost the ability to comprehend and think first of what he can do with magic. His father was so lost and afraid.

He remembered being sent to a healer and meeting a laughing little wizard like him too. So small like him. He still did not know anything at that time, but he thought his father found him a playmate. Though he does not like that annoying playmate at all.

When he was two years old his father had to leave but he felt the heavy heart of his father as the middle-aged man came back after taking three steps every time. He was left to a nanny and his father said many words to the nanny before finally leaving. He even left him a necklace that glows.

When he was three years old, there was a situation where his little classmate made a wrong spell and made him fly in rapid circles causing him to faint. That weekend, his father made him ride in anything that moved fast and said that he should not scream or cry.

Remembering this now, he realized the other side of that action... maybe his father did that so in the future he wouldn't faint again or that he could face any trials along his way without fear in his heart.

In his elementary years, his father often told him to be strong, be number one, and challenge his limits. His father would often make angry faces if he did not reach the top slot. Sometimes, his father was not around during special days or celebrations, especially on his birthday.

He often thought that his father hated him because he took his mother's life during childbirth.

During his graduation, he made a fool of himself, and his father was disappointed. But was his father a bad father?

"I truly don't know. How to be a good father? How to be a good son?" Rain's head was dropping, and his eyes were on his fingers afraid to look at his father for now. There was no sound of agreement or contradiction. It seems that his father was ready to listen to him today.

"All I know is that you were trying your best to raise me, trying your best to do the job for two. Sometimes, you say hurtful things to me, and I hate you for that but at the end of the day, you are still the one I look up to. The only model I wanted to be." His eyes started to sting and his nose sour while his mind continued to recollect the past.

"You are strong, with conviction and you truly loved mother. You never find someone again because in your heart it is still her. You want mother to be proud of me, so you do things you thought were right. Sometimes, you are harsh and I can only cry in bed after you nag. You want me to be the perfect son and I'm trying... I am... tr-trying."

His voice cracked and tears fell from his eyes, but his mouth couldn't stop speaking everything on his mind. His father was silent and never interrupted him.

"I also want you to be proud of me, love me, and be happy that I am your son. I'm trying re-really hard Father. No matter who I love I will still strive to be the best, so please... hic... allow me to love Phayu, hic."

At this point, in his father's eyes, the crying Rain was like that so many years ago. He never complained, never asked for anything, and never disobeyed his words but when his favorite toy was taken, he cried so much that it took the child four days to finally stop crying and eat.

That was when Rain had his first fever which made his father feel so much fear.

"I- I promise hic I will not disgrace you... pro-promise hic to listen to you... please, pl-please hic... accept Phayu. Huhuhu... I will be hic a good son... I will give you hic.. huhu cute little grandch-child... father, huhu... father... pl-please." If his words make sense or not, Rain does not know. He suddenly breaks down and all he wants to say is for his father to accept Phayu and he will follow him for anything he wants.

His father's eyes reddened, again, seeing his son like this, did he make the same mistake as that time? He took his son's favorite toy because he thought it would only distract him. He stood up and kneeled in front of his son. Those big tears dropping felt like the entire water inside Rain was overflowing and soon he might lose all those waters.

"I am a bad father." He said, looking at Rain wiping his tears and still sobbing. "I made my son cry like this again; I am a bad father." He took Rain's hand and kneaded it, remembering the tiny hands when his son was still a baby.

"If your mother is alive, she will scold me for making you cry like this. Rain, I don't want you to be perfect I just want you to be strong enough to defend yourself from stronger enemies. I scold you harshly because you have to understand that the world will not always be good to you. I'm sorry if I made you misunderstand my actions and words."

"When your mother died, you became my only world. I hated you but I love you at the same time. Your birth took the only woman I ever loved but you also showed me that there was another kind of love that can fill that void. I am a proud father because of you and I'm sorry if I never had ever told you that."

"When I saw you with that boy, I thought you were distracted because of some childish love but looking at how much you cry, I could tell it was never a childish love. Do you love him that much?"

He loved Phayu so much that he already imagined giving the wizard a lot of babies. Rain nodded, "I- I do."

"Do you trust that he loves you too?" If Phayu soon changes his love for him, he will just chain him to his side. "I trust him."

His father wiped the tears of his son and said, "Ask him to come here, I want to talk to him. I want my child to be safe and not in pain. Let him come, okay?"

"Yo-you won't beat him?" He was afraid that his father would throw fire at Phayu!

"I won't. I just want to meet him."

"Okay."

After crying so much, Rain was exhausted and fell asleep. His heart was light and free. His father told him everything that he needed to know. It was more than 'I love you'. He felt calm that they had talked. Though they might not have talked about everything at least some things were clear between them.

At the same time, below the house, hidden in the bushes was Phayu struggling whether to come inside or not. Unfortunately, his disguise was caught and now was facing the man of the house. "Aren't you a brave young wizard?"

Phayu: Σ(ﾟ口ﾟ;)//