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XI - Lauren's POV

For the 1st time in our whole college years together, I left Camila's side. I can't bear to hear or see her reject me again.

Flashback.....
Sophomore Year  High school...

As I entered the hallway this girl named I don't even remember immediately clung to my arm "Hi, Lauren.. It's nice too finally see you again.. I missed you. You know" She said batting her eyelashes while twisting the ends of her hair. I can't help but to flirt back "Hi?.. of course you miss me. Who wouldn't right?" I smirked at her. "How about.. you make it up to me?" Then I pushed her against one of the lockers while claiming her mouth that's when I caught a glimpse of the most gorgeous brunette who came stumbling inside the hallway. A freshman, I'm guessing because of the way that she looked lost and all shy. I pushed the girl whom I'm kissing and approached the brunette.. "Hi, Freshman?" I ask her smirking... she looked at her back "are you talking to me?" She asked confused but before I can answer her this unnamed girl clung to me "Babe, why can't we just finish what we started?" Before I can respond she pulled me towards the janitor's closet who am I to turn down this opportunity right?...

As soon as our last class ended I immediately flee outside the classroom in hopes to see the gorgeous brunette... she's adorably wears this bow on her hair that cascades down to her wide hips and her butt. Oh my god! My thoughts got interrupted by  the same unnamed girl. God! She's so annoying.

End of flashback.....

I can clearly remember that day from the back of my hand.. How can I forget the day that in the 1st time for how many years I finally felt my heart beats to life again....

Here comes the heartache... After all these years I can't believe that I still can't stand a chance to be with her. I know she's too perfect for me, but at-least I hoped that someday or somehow she'll like me back.... But NO!!!!...

I spent at least a year to finally move on and be myself again.... I built this fucking walls to guard my heart... but for what?!...As soon as she tapped my shoulders 4 years ago to ask where the music building was .... I can't believe that this fucking walls easily came crashing down.... Why!? Why come back just to destroy me again!? Why!?.... A sob escapes through my mouth.... I cried! I scream! I did everything just to numb this feeling again... but to my dismay nothing works! I can still feel the knife through my heart...

These 4 fucking years of being the quote unquote "good.. perfect best friend" to her... nothing works... I even stopped screwing girls.. can you believe that?! No!..... I spent all of my time with her, to be with her. I changed, I change for Camila....

What can I do?...Camila held my heart captive since I first laid my eyes on her... whether she knows it or not.... whether I keep denying it or not.... For 8 long years.... my heart will only and will be belongs to her...

But the real questions are:
For how many years will I wait? How many years do I need to endure this pain?

Because as long as I do fucking love her. I know my limits and I can't afford to keep doing this to myself....

I think this is my final straw...

———
A/n
Opppssss. Another update. 🤭

Sending lots of love! 🥰
-Nnnnn