CHASM : Worlds Will Burn

07. At the mall

My expression turned sour as I remembered how many times Sally had warned me to stop playing with people's feeling. I sighed and thought of how Mr double H would feel if I played with his feelings a little. It surprised me that I suddenly cared about how he would feel.

For the first time i thought about how the other person would feel. I had never done that before ,i never cared about any man's feelings . To me they had now become my tools used for having fun ,I preferred playing them to been played . I would rather use a man than let myself get used and dumped again.

Too bad ....Mr double H had fallen victim to my devious scheme and i was pretty sure that i would enjoy my time with him.

I did not want to get hurt again,I dreaded pain especially the one related to the affairs of the heart. With all that was happening with Sally and other breakups i had seen plus the one that I had experienced, I'll rather remain single than get involved with a man who would leave me for another woman .

I suddenly thought about Eren. I wondered if I mistakenly .....like accidentally although it was 100% not possible but if by a tiny weensy chance ,I fell for him ,would he be like other men and leave me? . Would he treat me like I was some trash,or would he body shame me just like every single men I dated did?. If he did then I would send him to his grave .

I soon realized where my train of thoughts were heading. My eyes widened in Shock,I shouldn't be thinking about falling for him or about what I would do if he left me . That wasn't going to happen by any chance,there was no way I would let myself fall for him. Just as always ,I would only use him without getting my heart involved.

Feeling confident, i got dressed and prepared to go shopping.

I went to one of the biggest mall in town , I had to get new clothes and a few food stuffs . The place wasn't that crowded with people, it was meant for the rich actually. It wasn't any regular mall and I had been shopping her since I was little.
I checked my bag to be sure that I didn't leave my credit card at home. I smiled as I saw two credit cards in my bag. One was given to me by my mom,the other was from my dad .

I had been using this credit card since I was old enough to go shopping. I had also been feeling guilty a few times about being jobless ,I wanted to get a job but the problem was ....I didn't know if I could handle it .

Yes ,call me dependent! I was someone's child for crying out loud !.

I was well aware that I was spoilt ,my mother never taught me how to cook . We had house helps who did all the work . The only thing I did was wake up in the morning,have breakfast,monkey around ,go to parties with some of my friends and then go back to bed .

Don't ask me where my friends are right now .

Sally was the only friend who stuck with me and didn't judge me because of my lifestyle,the rest of them disappeared form my life like I was a plague .

I suddenly felt downbeat. Honestly,I had no friends except for Sally and all my fake Instagram followers. It had been like that since high school.

Everyone avoided me like I was some kind of disease. They said I stink ,and my hands were clammy .
I didn't have body odour,I made sure to use deodorant before I go to bed and when I leave the house so I didn't know where the smell was coming from .

I shook my head.

My life was all better now ,I didn't want to have all those depressing thoughts right now.
So smiling widely,I picked a trolley and started shopping . I bought new boots,some sneakers .... because I don't usually wear hills.
As I walked around the huge mall looking for anything that would catch my eyes,I bumped into someone.