Obsession

Chapter 12 'Understanding'

I stir a cup of black paint, gazing at the blank canvas standing in front of me on an easel. Throwing the paint on the canvas, I'm quick to brush it all over the canvas with a bristle, applying heavy textured strokes.

Today I woke up and found Cain still holding onto me firmly as he had the whole night, without moving an inch, while I tired myself to sleep. As he promised, he stayed with me and didn't leave my side.

And though he helped chase away my fright and I had a restful sleep even after the happening last night, I was mad at him.

I was so mad at him for not believing me when I told him what happened. I know he already knows that I'm schizophrenic and he was in his right mind when he didn't believe me but... where's the chivalry at?

He could have at least taken my side, assured me that he trusted what I was saying as he always had when I had an episode before, which was not so traumatizing.

I shiver at the thought of it.

So, I drove Cain away the minute he opened his eyes.

I'm convinced, he's a vampire as literally who looks so put together despite just waking up. His hair and clothes were disheveled but in a trendy kind of way, like it was intentionally styled that way.

Whereas me, I am not a pretty sleeper. My hair was splayed out all over the place, on me, on him. I had essentially cocooned myself in his lap which surely was quite uncomfortable for him to sleep in.

However, he's used to me, so, I'm not self-conscious or abashed when it comes to him.

He did look genuinely confused at my sudden change in behavior and asked for an explanation but I was too furious with him to give him any answer. And I practically shoved him out of my apartment, without even giving him time to put his shoes on.

Poor Cain.

But do I regret it? Of course, I do. He has been my support system for as long as I can remember and the only thing standing in between me and a psychiatric ward, I believe.

Treating him the way I did was so wrong and uncharacteristic of me but I was mad and I had pushed my judgement out of the window. but looking back, he didn't seem to be bothered by my actions but was... amused.

Trying to understand how the strings in his brain worked was something I had given up on a long time ago.

Again, I regretted my decision... when I remembered I had to prepare lunch by myself when I could have had his delicious egg sandwiches for breakfast.

This is the least I could pay for my silly temper tantrum.

I worked on my strokes coloring the whole canvas black and then using white, I started outlining a figure.

I'm stressing a lot since morning even though I have convinced my mind that yesterday night was a delusion, my body doesn't feel the same way. I can still feel his touch crawling over me.