Don't Speak (SBI Angst)

38

Phil POV:

I wake up, hearing rustling from both technos and wilburs room.

I get up and head to their rooms, after looking in both of them I came to the conclusion that I was just hearing shit.

I go downstairs and start my coffee before heading to my room to get dressed for the day.

By the time I've dranken my coffee and gotten dressed it's already 5, I have to wake up the boys at 6.

I scroll on my phone till 5:30, then decide to text Charlie about that dinner we never had so he could check on Wilbur

Hey! We never really had that dinner we were supposed to, would you like to come over around 5 today for dinner? The boys get home from school at 3:40 and I want to give them an hour before you show up you know :)
Sent just now

I check the time, 5:40 damn I spent a fucking while typing out a poorly worded text.

I scroll on my phone for awhile until it's 6 then go to wake up the boys

First I go to Tommy's room, his arm is over his eyes and I see his scabbed over arms, I get a pang of guilt through my chest before I wake him up.

I head to wilburs room and wake him up with a knock on his door before coming in to tell him to get up

I head to technos and wake him up, he seems to immediately be out of it but I don't think much about it,he's just tired.

Eventually they all are ready except techno when they come downstairs while I'm putting scrambled eggs on plates

"Why are you not dressed mate?"

"I have a horrible fucking headache and wanted to ask to stay home, I have iss anyways."

"I guess today is fine, but it's the first week of school And you've missed every day but the first, I expect you to stay in school and out of fights for at least 2 weeks after this, please."

He nods and sits down in his regular seat

I set all the food down, and sigh as I watch Wilbur go upstairs, then I direct my attention to techno who's currently holding his head in his hands and looks pissed beyond belief

"You want some headache medicine?"

He nods and I get up to grab some ibuprofen.

I give him 2 pills and he swallows them without any water, makes me wonder if there was more shit he didn't admit to when he was friends with schlatt, having to add pills to that list would suck but I wouldn't be surprised, schlatt was raised horribly and its not his fault but he had no right to push that shit on techno.

I get up after tommy and Wilbur have finished their food, Wilbur looks kinda out of it but I don't mention it as I drive them to school.

Techno pov:

I watch Phil leave the house and finally respond to the voice.

"Fuck no."

Techno you need to, you know you do.

They were telling me to relapse for drinking, and as much as I wanted to, I had to hold back, I would take my medicine already but Phil has a lock on the medicine cabinet, I get why, but shit man.

Do it do it-

They repeated themselves as they got louder, I knew the only other way to silence them for at least a few minutes was to do what they say, but I couldn't- I wouldnt-

DO IT DO IT

"No-"

FUCKING DO IT-

"fuck fine!"

I head into the kitchen, and open the junk drawer, there's gotta be something in here- yup.

A box cutter, sharp enough to cut the toughest of cardboard, how's it do on skin?

"Fuck off" I breathed out as I took the blade out of the box cutter

I could feel the voice smiling at me

I put the blade to my wrist and-

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I hear the door crack open and close and I quickly shove the blade and the box cutter in my pocket before walking out of the kitchen, trying to ignore the blood staining my sweater, my white sweater. Well shit.

"Mate you good? You've been out of it all morning."

"Mhm, tired, headache. And uhm- can you unlock the medicine cabinet please.?"

He looked up at me for that one

"You can't take any more ibuprofen techno."

"I know- I just need my medicine for-"

Ddddrrrrriiiiiippp.

Fuck it's running down my arm

"For my-"

Drip.

Me and Phil immediately look down at the drip- blood, my blood.

I sigh and look up at him with a sad smile

"My voices. I need my medicine for my voices."

"Oh gods. Yeah- say something earlier before that happens please I'm so sorry shit- shit-" he continues cursing as he opens the medicine cabinet and gets out my medication, and the first aid.

He hand me my medicine and I take what I need.

"Roll up your sleeve tech"

"Can't I do it-"

"No you need awhile for the medicine to work and seeing that won't help, I'm sorry but please pull up your sleeve."

I let out a jagged sigh and watch him wince as he looks at my arm caked in blood with blood still coming from one cut, the one that dropped, I take note that's the last one I cut, why couldn't I have done one less?

He doesnt say a word as he cleans up my arm and bandages it. Normally right now he'd have a bigger reaction, or be giving me a fucking ted talk.

"Are you mad that this keeps happening?"

"At myself yeah. Don't worry, not at you techno, you don't deserve this."

"You can't stop it though, why are you mad at yourself?"

"None of your concern, drop it, were focusing on you."

"For someone who knows so much about feelings you sure hate talking about yours"

"Techno drop it"

"I mean- you constantly tell us about our emotions and shit as if you know anything about any of this but when we try to help you with yours-"

"Drop it!"

He rarely tells

Holy shit

I got him to yell

"Holy shit. I got you to yell"

"I'm only upset cus I promised myself this wouldnt happen again and it did, I fucked up and couldn't help my kid in time, again. Is that what you want to hear tech,?"

"But you aren't who fucked up-"

"Fucking stop mate- please."

Well shit. I fucking broke Phil.

Words:1117