Love Yuh Bad

Mob Style

**** Two Days Later / Friday, June 23rd 2023 ****

Noelle's POV

I think the biggest lesson I've learned during this whole thing, is to never underestimate myself.

For most of my life, I've only had myself to count on, no one to come save the day for me.

These past few months though, I've gotten way too comfortable with Micheal.

I got so used to him protecting me, handling everything around us, that I practically turned off my brain.

Just walking around her wid mi lipgloss and phone.

Not a care in the world.

But with everything that I just experienced, I learned very quickly that it as up to me in that moment to save myself.

And I did it.

I refuse to allow myself to get so caught up again.

Mi love Micheal, yes, but my independence is everything to me.

Literally.

It was my willingness to utilize that autonomy that saved me.

"Noelle, yuh need anything else?"

I look up to see Renee standing at the doorpost.

We were currently at a safe house somewhere in St. Catherine, mi neva have the strength fi ask for more details.

Once Micheal and I got reunited, he didn't hitch to set this place up for me, my family, and his.

Everyone has been acting kinda weird around me as if they are scared to talk about what happened.

I appreciate the effort though, but I wasn't that fragile.

I would rather people be real with me than avoid me like the plague.

Micheal was the worst one...

These past few days he's been on edge, I know he's definitely planning something.

Just can't tell what.

For the first couple hours of us being back together, he couldn't let me go, holding on to me as if he was scared he'd lose me again.

This is the kinda shit that puts you in therapy.

It may seem like I am holding everything together, but I know that when the high wears off I am going to get hit hard.

I wouldn't be surprised if I end up with PTSD.

This shit really fucked me up...

Maybe I am more fragile than I think.

"Umm no...I don't think so, just need likkle sleep" I reply with a small smile.

She's back to talking to me now...

But mi still nuh forgive her fi how she deal wid mi.