What Sirius never said

Chapter 101

News travelled fast at Hogwarts and it didn't take long for me to hear my name bandied around the corridors as I walked between lessons. The names that joined it however were variable. 50 percent of the time, it was Helen Penderhouse, Jane Hicks and Kate Dovenrose. But 50 percent of the time, I heard my name alongside that of Sirius Black. And people didn't hold back either. They stared as I walked between Andy and Kate from breakfast to Herbology, then from Herbology to Defence. In my Defence lesson I was approached by Michelle Linigan to ask if I dating Sirius.
"Are you really dating him?" She asked, turning round in her chair to look at me. She flicked her hair over her shoulder. "I mean, not that I'm not a little envious. We've all seen the guy. But I always thought he was the dark and brooding type and not really boyfriend material. And he comes from a family of death eaters. How do you know he isn't going to become one too?" I clenched my jaw at that and tried to ignore her questions but Andy piped up besides me "she's been dating him for a year. I'm sure she would know if he was boyfriend material or not. Or a death eater, though I find that thought laughable. You've met the guy right?" I knew Andy was just sticking up for me but I still sunk lower over my books to avoid the conversation.
I noticed Michelle turn back to her table but her Ravenclaw friend Cassandra Hestanis hissed over to her "and if he was a death eater, why did they attack Greenwood and Penderhouse last night?"
"Who says they did" Michelle hissed back, perfectly audibly. "We only have their word that they were attacked. Maybe they made the whole thing up". The two girls looked over their shoulder at me and giggled.
"Yeah, how do we know you got attacked?" Richie York asked from the next desk over. He turned to look at Helen and Kate behind me. "You all seem fine today".
"Because Trudy fought them off" Helen replied. I glanced at him to find his eyes on me. I sunk further down in my seat. I hated this. I hated the attention, constantly having people's eyes on me. I hated them talking about me, questioning whether I was telling the truth or lying, or creating drama for the fun of it. It all just made me so uncomfortable and my insides squirmed under their gaze.
"She fought them off?" He said, disbelief clear in his voice. "She singlehandedly fought a load of full grown, adult wizards? And you all got away unscathed? Yeah right."
"She did" Helen started getting angry, but didn't have much more time to argue my corner as Professor Pendalin called our attention to the front of the room. He was wearing his customary purple robes and his short brown hair was quaffed smartly. He was the youngest teacher we had but he was far from the easiest to get on with. He was a stickler for getting things right and he didn't waste words.
"Right all" he called. "I've recently been reminded that many of you don't have any duelling practice. That's not good. You're doing your NEWTs. You need to be able to defend yourselves in a fight. So we're going to practice that today. Stand up." We all scrabbled to our feet. With one flick of his wand our homework scrolls flew through the air and onto his desk and with another flick the desks flew to the side of the room. We followed them, grabbing our bags and dumping them by the walls. We stood in a circle, waiting for him to give us more instructions. "One at a time, you're going to face me and try to fight me. You can use any spell you think is appropriate, the ultimate aim is to disarm me. If you can incapacitate me, you get ten house points. Miss Flannigan. Go".
Kelsie Flannigan stepped forward.

No one succeeded in disarming him. He gave everyone two minutes exactly and by the end of the two minutes he flicked his wand and the students wand flew out of their hands. Kate did a good job. She managed to keep hold of her wand at the end by creating a magical shield just in time. And Andy managed to get a couple of good hits in, causing Pendalins legs to wobble and his wrist to go limp, but he simply switched his wand to his other hand and carried on. Finally he turned to me, the last student left unchallenged.
"Greenwood" he called. "If what I've heard is true, you might be able to manage this". I could feel everyone leaning forward, keen to watch the impending battle. Why had he done this? To make me the centre of attention. It was just cruel. I decided to make this quick.
He seemed to be keen to do the same, but the following fight was tight and furious. Once again I fell into the zone and my wand worked as if by its own accord. After a minute and a half of blocking spell after blocking spell, I managed to hit him with a repelling jinx which threw him backwards long enough to enable me to levicorpus him, bind him up with ropes and with a final flourish I disarmed him. His wand clattered to the ground near his floating head. The short battle had reminded me a lot of last night. Too much of last night. I had reacted instinctively and when the classroom came back into focus I became very aware of my own heavy breathing, and the deathly silence around me. My eyes flicked to my friends. The girls had smug looks on their faces but Andy and Charlie were looking at me in amazement. As my eyes travelled slowly around the classroom I realised it was a look mirrored on everyone's faces. Richie York gulped. "Yeah, she could take on a load of death eaters and win" he breathed out into the silent room. I blushed and looked down, then I flicked my wand back at Professor Pendalin, finishing all enchantments and I caught him with a levitation spell just as he was about to hit the ground. He snatched up his wand quickly and the bell rang. Slowly, everyone seemed to wake from their own trances and move for their bags. I felt my breathing get shallower but the edge of panic was just as present in my mind.
"Your homework is to practice" Pendalin called to the moving students. "Except you Greenwood. You needn't do so" he told me gently. I just nodded, my eyes still wide.
I followed my friends out of the room and down towards the great hall for lunch. The whole class seemed to be buzzing about what they had just seen and done.
"You saw me repel him right?" Michelle asked Cassandra and Richie up ahead. "You saw his cloak pull him back?"
"I mean, I did, but you saw what Greenwood did to him?" Richie replied and once again I tried to hide further in my school robes. The whole matter was brought to a head when we got to the entrance hall. My friends turned left to go to the Padleigh courts.
"See you later Trudy" they called as they went. Andy must have spotted the panicked look in my eyes as he went though as he called "you'll be fine, I'm sorry" after him. I took a deep breath and stepped up to the doorway of the great hall, but as soon as I did people stopped their conversations and turned to look at me. I could feel all their eyes on me.
"Nope. Not today" I turned around and headed for the common room. I couldn't deal with being watched like that while I ate my lunch. Not on my own and I refused to wait for the boys to come and join me. I didn't have the strength. So I would sit in the common room and skip food. I'd be fine. But as I was stepping into the corridor off the entrance hall a pair of hands gripped my shoulders and a familiar voice said in my ear "nope. You're not skipping lunch. Come on". I turned to find Sirius holding me.
"But they're talking about me. And staring" I whined.
"I know. They're talking about me too. But it'll only be worse if you don't go to lunch".
"You could join me?" I tried to tempt him but he just threw his head back and laughed.
"And that would be worst of all, if neither of us showed up for lunch! Come on Tru, we don't have to be all affectionate and PDA if you don't want to, but we don't have to hide it either."
"Sirius I" I tried to argue, but he took my face in one of his hands and forced me to look in his eyes.
"You'll be okay Trudy. We're in this together. Just you and me. Okay? Do you need to breath?"
It seemed like a strange question but I could feel the panic at the edge of my mind. Come on Trudy, this is silly. Pull yourself together.
I hunched my shoulders.
"Let's do it".

Sirius lead me through the great hall to the Gryffindor table. We normally sat together at the Hufflepuff table on Fridays but the boys seemed to have made a bubble for me, with Remus and Peter on one side, James, Lily and Mary on the other. Sirius led me over to them and gently guided me into the seat, then sat beside me, his leg pressed against mine to stop it bouncing.
I kept my eyes firmly downwards, ignoring all the eyes on me.
"I mean, you'd think they haven't seen anyone in a relationship before" James muttered into his soup.
"Yeah well, you know what people are like" Sirius mumbled quietly. "I've had like five people ask me about Trudy this morning."
"What did you say?" I asked, trying to work out what rumours people knew.
"The truth. That we've been dating for months and that they can fuck off if they don't shut up about it. It's none of their business".
"We've been telling them the same" Peter piped up.
"But they keep asking about the death eater attack too" Lily added. "I've had several people ask if that was true and what happened. They all think that because I know you, I know all the details. But I only know what James told me this morning."
I knew what she was getting at, so I sighed and put down my fork, then gave her a full rendition of the story. Lily and Mary leaned in close and the boys were all listening intently too. It annoyed me, but I could tell the surrounding Gryffindors were listening hard as well. They might as well hear it. The more people knew from me, the slightly less worse. And at least if my friends knew then they could share the truth. It didn't help that my Hufflepuff lot were at training and I could hear around the hall the rumours were getting more wild. When I finished my story James hissed a breath it through his teeth.
"Blimey Trudy. It doesn't lose anything in the telling. Three on one!"
"That's the part most people struggle to believe" I agreed. "But I think Professor Pendalin might have helped with that. Or he's made it worse" and I explained what had just happened in my defence lesson, before laying my head on the table and hiding my face in my arms. Sirius chuckled above me and the rest of them carried on the conversation.
"You really know how to show people, Trudy" James laughed. I harrumphed.
Sirius lowered his voice and leaned in next to me. I felt his hand gently making circles on my back too. It felt good there; warm and comforting. "It's really not that bad Tru. You've just shown people what you're capable of. You've shown them why I love you. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I'm not ashamed" I mumbled into my arm. "I just don't like being looked at".
But I was not to get my wish.