What Sirius never said

Chapter 89

"Come on, let's go" I told Remus when I got close enough. I let out a little breath.
"Trudy I'm so sorry! I hadn't realised he was there, I assumed he wouldn't be. I assumed I would get out of the toilets first" Remus gushed.
"Moony, it's okay" I told him calmly. "I am fine. I... I actually feel better than I have in ages!"
He watched me closely as we walked. "You seem taller" he noted. I felt taller. My back was straight and I strode with purpose. I smiled. "I feel so much better. I cannot believe I let him get to me like that."
Remus smiled, but then he muttered under his breath "Sirius is still going to kill me though."
"What Sirius doesn't know, won't hurt him" I told him.
"You mean you won't tell him?"
"There is no point getting you in trouble if we don't have to" I laughed as we entered the dungeon again.
I clocked Sirius straight away, he was dancing wildly on the dance floor with Lily and Peter. I grinned at him and he noticed me. He moved round to let us into the dancing circle, so I lifted my hands above my head and shimmied through the crowd to join them.
This was a good party! We dance for a over an hour until finally giving up and heading to the side of the dance floor.
"Quaffles" I muttered, ducking down behind Sirius.
"What's wrong?" He asked, suddenly on high alert.
"It's Theodore Cheadle" I hissed.
"Who?" James asked.
"The guy who wrote our text book. I met him last year and he was such an arse. He's so self centered and condescending".
"Leave it to me" James said, handing Lily his drink to hold.
"Where's he..." She asked but we all watched as he approached Mr Cheadle and sidled into the conversation.
"Ah, Theodore, you must meet James" Slughorn announced loudly. "James Potter. He's the star chaser on the Gryffindor quidditch team, and quite the powerful wizard! He's studying AMT!"
James smiled and shook Cheadles hand. "Nice to meet you sir" the rest of us were stood watching on. What was he doing?!
Cheadle started speaking "How are you finding your studies?". He certainly seemed warmer towards James than he had to me. Maybe he was sexist then...
I listened as James spoke. "Oh you know, it can be quite tricky. I wouldn't be doing as well as I am without help from my friends. Trudy for one. And Lily. They're always explaining things to me" Cheadle made to interrupt James but he carried on talking. "And then there's the text books. There's one, Advanced Magical Theory" I noticed Cheadle perk up at the mention of his own book "that is so poorly written it's almost incomprehensible. Trudy practically has to translate it. And even then I'm not convinced the guy really has an understanding of magic. His theories just don't stand up, you know, especially when compared to Spanderson and Tattleberg. Now they're great minds. Anyway, lovely to meet you, I must be getting back to my friends". And with that, James sauntered back over to us. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Cheadles and Slughorns faces.
"Thank you James" I muttered to him as he rejoined our circle. "I think he needed that".

I ended up having a blast with this group of Gryffindors. We chatted to some of the adults at the party and were generally rather more polite to them. I saw my Hufflepuff friends for a dance and saw Helen's dad briefly, though he called me Judy so I'm not sure he remembered who I was. Eventually the lights started to come back on and we headed for home. It was 12 o'clock. My mind buzzed though, I felt wired, high on life. I traipsed through the corridors with my friends, heading for the entrance hall.
"Now that was a good party!" Remus laughed, as he strode out into the room. It was full of other students, some saying goodnight to those in other houses, others just meandering about, not wanting the night to end. The oak front doors stood open as the adult party goers left too - taking the horseless carriages back to Hogsmead.
"Man, that was really cracking" James joined in.
"I'm glad I came with you guys. Thanks for making me" I grinned round at them all. Lily smiled over at me from under James's arm where he held her, but the rest of them made various noises of agreement.
"We're always happy to party with you Trudy" Sirius said, then winked at me when everyone else turned away.
"Hey" I called their attention back to me. "What are you guys doing for new years?"
They paused for a moment. Then "I'm free" James replied, looking excited. "Me too" Peter and Remus chimed. I looked at Lily but she grimaced "sorry Trudy, I've got my family event".
"That's fair. But everyone else, you're welcome to come to my parents. It's just a family party but I think it would be good fun."
"Sounds great Trudy" they all made various encouraging noises and I grinned at them.
"Alright, well, now that that's sorted, Trudy do you want us to walk you to your common room?" Sirius spoke.
"Nah, its okay, I'm sure I can make my own way there. You guys go to bed, I'll catch you tomorrow maybe" I grinned.
"You sure?" He checked. I would have to tell him about Eric at some point, let him know he could stop worrying so much. But right now, it was bed time.
"I'm sure" I said, then nodded in the direction behind him. "Andy, Kate and Olly are over there, I'll be fine."
"Alright, well, in that case. I'm going for a walk" Sirius announced to the group.
"What?!"
"I'm far too wired to sleep, need to burn off some energy first. Maybe have a bit of fun. A run" he corrected himself, but I could tell everyone was looking at him sceptically. I just snorted. Without another glance Sirius turned on his heels and walked out the front doors. I could see the tips of his ears going red, he was blushing furiously from his mistake.
"This is our chance" Peter whispered to us as we watched him go. "I could follow him, find out where he's going. Who he's meeting, I could"
"No wormtail" James interrupted him. "Let him have his secrets. He'll tell us when he's ready." I could have sworn his eyes flicked to me in that moment.
"You know where he goes!" Peter sulked. "How come you get to know?"
"How do you know James knows?" Remus asked.
"Because he's not curious enough about it" Peter whined.
"Alright, as fun as this is" I interrupted "I'm going to bed. Goodnight all, thanks for a lovely party, I've had a blast." I gave them all a quick hug, even Lily as she sagged a bit under James's arm, evidently tired.
"Goodnight" they all chimed, then headed up the marble staircase, still bickering about Sirius's secrets.
I yawned loudly, then caught up with Andy to walk with him the rest of the way.
"How was your night?" He asked as I fell into step beside him.
"It was really good thanks, how was yours?"
"Pretty good actually. Slughorn introduced us all to Miranda Hawkins. She's the captain of the England Padleigh team. She was so cool and gave us loads of pointers. Then we saw Helens dad for a bit. Had a bit of a dance. How was it with lover boy?" He leaned in close on the last words.
"Let's not call him that. But it was good thanks" I grinned, "I had lots of fun."
"I bet you did. Worth not going with us?"
"Andy, you know that's not why I went with them right?"
"No Tru, I don't. You never really gave us a straight answer about that."
I paused as we walked round the corner into our corridor and I turned to look at Andy. He stopped too. I almost didn't want to speak, I didn't want to explain it, but I was being ridiculous. I had spoken to Eric, I had realised he wasn't a threat. I was over it. I had to be. So I made myself talk.
"It's because none of you remembered how it went for me last year."
"What happened..."
"I went to the party with Roswell. Eric Roswell. Remember? And he treated me like shit all evening then tried to force himself on me. It was really tough for me and none of you remembered. It didn't mean so much to you and that's okay I just... I didn't feel so safe with you guys. But Sirius remembered. I didn't have to say anything and he just accepted it, then went to a lot of effort to get me to go to the party, then to look after me. His friends remembered too. I didn't need to say anything."
"But why didn't you just tell us Tru?" Andy asked softly. He seemed genuinely hurt that I hadn't gone to them. Or that I hadn't felt safe with them. I felt bad too, guilty that I hadn't trusted them.
"I just.... I didn't want to rehash it. I didn't want to go through it again Andy. I'm sorry, it was just easier with Sirius."
"I'm sorry too Tru. We should have remembered. It was a big thing and I'm sorry we forgot."
I shook my head. "It's okay Andy, I don't blame you". He pulled me into a giant bear hug anyway. "Thanks" I smiled at him, and wiped away a rogue tear. Damn crying, how was it you always went from massive highs to massive lows. "It's okay."
"I'm really sorry though, I get it now, why you didn't want to go with us. Do you want me to tell the others? So you don't have to go through it again?"
"No, it's okay" I replied. "I actually saw Eric again tonight and.... Let's just say I had a bit of closure. I'm feeling a lot better about it now and I owe them an explanation."
He nodded. "But maybe not tonight. I have a feeling none of them will be in the common room when we get back. Kate went back with Olly".
"Oh did she now?" I raised an eyebrow. "Good for Kate." I turned and started walking back along the corridor towards the barrel door. "I should get to bed too though, I'll be knackered tomorrow otherwise." He nodded and fell into step beside me. We separated once we got into the common room. I wished him a good night as he went right and I went left.