What Sirius never said

Chapter 30

Later that same day I followed the boys to the great hall for dinner.
James started talking. "So, everyone up for the ice skating rink tonight?"
"Umm what now?" I asked. I hadn't been involved in any of those plans.
"Just meet us here at 11 okay?" James told me.
"Can I invite Katrina Fletchley?" Peter asked out of the blue.
There was silence around the table before Sirius replied kind of hautily "No"
"Why not? Trudy always gets to come. How come I can't invite the girl that I like?"
Did that mean Sirius liked me? I got butterflies in my stomach at the thought but made myself protest. "It's not like that" I said at the same time that Sirius said the same thing.
"The thing is Peter" Sirius explained, "we trust Trudy. We know she won't tell on us if any... Trouble starts".
"And Katrina Fletchley would?"
"Katrina wouldn't. But you know she wouldn't come alone either. And I don't trust Edgecombe or Bones"
"So that's a no then?"
"No" the three boys said in unison. I honestly didn't feel like I could have a vote.
"And I definitely wouldn't trust them to know about the cloak" James added in a whisper.
"But Trudy" Peter started, but James shook his head.
"No. She can get away with sneaking around at night. But a load of Ravenclaws too? They would be noticed."
There was a bit of a pause before Remus spoke. He sounded like he was thinking through his plan as he talked. "What if we... Could we... Would it be possible to map people on our map? To mark where they are as they move around. Could we mark where the teachers are so that we can know if they're coming or if they're going to find us? Might make it easier to get around the castle without being caught?"
The boys exploded in noises of enthusiasm.
"That's genius" Sirius told him. After they quietened down, they all looked at me. "Well Trudy" he asked "is it possible?"
My mind raced. There were so many possibilities. It would be a mammoth task. Almost impossible. There would be conflicting laws and theory that we would need to work around. There was Neymans law, and Phicanthuses. But could it... Would it.... If we just... I smiled sheepishly. "I think I could do it. I can't promise anything. Honestly it would be a massive feet of magic. And I'm not entirely sure I want to. You would be completely invading peoples privacy. It would definitely be against some actual laws. But, if you promised me you wouldn't use it to watch anyone other than yourselves... Yes. I could help you do it".

And so we went back to the library after dinner. The boys went to reserve an alcove while I went to get some books that I thought might help. I passed Madam Lamarque and went into the restricted section. McGonagall and Flitwick had both signed a note for every member of the AMT class at the start of the year, allowing us unlimited access to the restricted section for further reading. And it really helped. Most of my lunchtime reading books had come from the restricted section. The theories included in the books were fairly new to me and far more interesting. I found that most of the books were there not because they were dangerous but because the magic contained in them was so advanced that anyone less capable attempting it could do serious harm to themselves. I had made so much use of this section that Madam Lamarque knew me by name and waved me on through without even bothering to look at the note anymore.
I strolled through the shelves, brushing my hand along the spines of books as I read their titles.
"What are you looking for?" A voice said to me left.
I jumped. "Pixies Adam!" I breathed hard. "What are you doing sneaking round in here? I didn't hear you!" Adam laughed.
"I've been helping Sophie with her Ancient Runes and needed a reference book" he explained. "What about you?"
"Oh looking for some cartography books" I told him, trying to be pretty vague. "I've got a project I'm working on".
"With Sirius and Potter and them?"
"Yeah".
"You seem to be spending a lot of time with them Trudy" he commented. He had a concerned look on his face as he said it, as if he didn't think it was a good idea. "I know Sirius is alright. I've got a lot of respect for him but... They're trouble makers Trudy. Just make sure you don't get dragged down with them okay?" I was shocked. Adam and his friends weren't perfect so who was he to warn me. Didn't he trust me to know when things were being taken too far? Didn't he want me to have friends who didn't spend all their time focusing on their sport?
"Whatever. I'll be fine" I told him grumpily as I walked past him.
"Trudy, I'm just trying to look out for you" he called out after me.
"And so are they" I snapped at him. He looked suitably guilty as I stalked down a different aisle of books. I reached the section I had been looking for and sank down on the ground to cry. I hated fighting, especially with Adam. I knew he was just trying to look out for me and he didn't know the boys. He only saw them being told off for doing some prank or another because that was when they were the most visible. That was all anyone ever saw of them. I knew he had my best interests at heart but he could have gone about it much better than cornering me in the library.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped again. I glanced up to find Sirius squatting in front of me. A look of concern on his face. "Trudy, what happened?" He asked me softly. Of course he would be the one to find me now.
"Nothing" I tried to shrug it off and wipe my eyes but he gave me an 'oh really' kind of look and I had to elaborate. "I had an argument with Adam. That's all"
"Oh Trudy" he pulled me in for a hug. I was enveloped by his smell and felt my shoulders relax almost instantly. I loved that he had that effect on me. When he pulled away I wiped a final tear from my cheeks.
"I'm okay, really" I told him. "It wasn't even that bad of an argument. It just took me by surprise. And you know I don't do surprises" he chuckled softly.
"What was the argument about?" He asked.
Did I tell him? I didn't want to. I didn't want him getting any ideas that I didn't want to hang out with them. Or that spending time with them would get me into trouble. Because that wasn't how I felt. And I really didn't want Sirius to think that Adam didn't like him because I knew he did. But honesty was always the best policy...
"In the interest of complete honesty in our friendship... He warned me not to get into trouble if I hang out with you guys. He thinks your friends go marauding around the castle like they have no care in the world and that I should be extra careful if I go with you".
A small grimace appeared on Sirius' face. "I'm sorry people think that when you hang out with us. We are no good, it's true".
"But it's just not" I reached up and put a hand on his cheek. I wanted to wipe away the grimace. I wanted him to know that wasn't how I felt. He relaxed a little into my palm and with my next words his smile became a genuine one. "You are good guys. Yes you have fun, you... You make mischief" he snorted "but you look out for each other. And for me. I know you would all stand up and lie to a teacher - you'd swear blind that I wasn't there just so I wouldn't get into trouble. You're good people. The best people. I just wish more people saw that. I'm serious Sirius".
He snorted slightly. "I know Trudy. Truly" he took my hand in his and held it close to his chest. We stayed like that for a moment, looking into each others eyes, until I felt the need to break the tension. So I pushed him over. Gently. But he had had very little balance as he squatted and he sprawled back onto the rug with such a look of surprise on his face that I couldn't help but laugh.
"Come on Sirius. Let's get these books and get back" I bounded upright and extended a hand for him to help him up. He eyed it warily, but took it. A lazy grin spread across his face.

We picked up six books that I thought might be of use to us. Magical tracking and A study of location placement by Marina Spanderson were ones that I had particularly high hopes for. I signed them out with Madam Lamarque on our way back to the table; I knew we wouldn't be able to cover them all in one evening.
"What took you so long?" James asked as we approached.
"Just had to deal with a minor emotional outburst" Sirius nudged me gently so I would know he was teasing.
"Yeah well, we've nearly finished the front cover by now" James replied. When he said we, it was fairly clear that Remus and Peter had done most of the work. Remus was scratching thin intricate lines onto the front of the folded piece of parchment, and Peter had a different parchment in front of him which it appeared he had been doodling on. We put our books down and I took the remaining space at the bench, scooching along to get a better look. Peter had sketched a rough outline of the castle, with a banner over the top of it and an empty space in the middle. Remus had copied the drawing but put in a heck of a lot more detail.
"Wow" I breathed. "Remus, you are incredibly talented". He had such impressive skill. I hadn't expected it but it weirdly made sense.
"What goes there?" I asked, pointing at the gap in the middle.
"We were waiting for you guys to come back so we could decide what to write on the front" James explained. "We were thinking maybe calling it the mischief makers map?"
"Or a map to aid mischief makers?" Peter chimed in.
"Or my favourite was the map to enable rule breaking" Remus added. I snorted at that. Some prefect.
"How about the marauders map?" Sirius said. He caught my eye and grinned at me. I blushed a little.
"I don't know man, marauding seems a little... Piratey?" James seemed hesitant.
"It is quite an aggressive word" Remus added.
"It is. But we've got that reputation as it is. Maybe we should just own it. Make the word our own and give it a new meaning".
There were general murmurs of agreement around the table.
"You can't deny it's got a nice ring to it" Peter said. I watched as Sirius swelled a little with pride.
"Okay, so it's agreed then. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Snuffles proudly present the Marauders Map. That's what we'll have on the front" James announced and tapped the banner above the castle on Remus's drawing.
"Who and what now?" I asked.
"They're our nicknames" Sirius explained. "I'm Padfoot. James in Prongs. Remus is Mooney. Peter is Wormtail and you're Snuffles"
"Why am I Snuffles?!" I asked in indignation.
"Because your patronus is a hedgehog and it just made sense" James retorted.
"And why are yours what they are?" I asked.
"Because they are" James snapped again. I held my hands up in defeat. Alright then I wouldn't ask.
I focused on the parchment again as Peter added the words to his practice copy of the front page.
My mind drifted back to my conversation with Adam. 'Don't get into trouble Trudy'.
Ah quaffles. "Do you mind if we don't put my name on this?" I said nervously.
"We're just putting your nickname on it Trudy. No one will know it's you" they tried to reassure me.
"All the same. I'd rather not be on it at all".
"Why not?" James asked. "Trudy this is an incredible piece of magic. What you will have achieved with this map is monumental. It's an object of magical properties far beyond what a sixth year would normally be able to create, you've got to see that. And you've done most of the work. We can't claim credit. You should put your name on it".
I shook my head in response. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, watching me. But I could only stare at the table.
"It's okay" Sirius said quietly. "You don't have to have your name on it. That's absolutely fine."
"Thank you" I said looking up at him. "And anyway, Mooney, Wormtash, Puddifoot and Prongs proudly presents has a much better ring to it". They laughed at that and the tension was diffused.
"It's Wormtail and Padfoot" Sirius commented, in a proud voice, but the corners of his mouth twitched in a smile and I could tell he was just joking. Wormtail and Padfoot. Wormtail and Padfoot. I'd remember them.
Remus looked at his watch. "If you still want to go ice-skating tonight then we should go get ready. It's almost 9".
Choruses of 'sure thing' and 'you're right' echoed around the table and the boys started scrabbling around to put everything away. I handed round the books that I had found. They all got one each and I took the two key ones. "Have a look through these and see if you can find anything useful" I told them.
"Honestly, it's like getting homework" Peter complained.
"I'm really behind on my homework because of this map, so you can damn well help me with this" I told him sternly and he looked suitably chagrined.
"It shouldn't take too long" I told him all the same, "there will likely only be one relevant chapter in each book so there shouldn't be too much to read". He just nodded and stuffed the book in his bag.
"Alright Trudy" James called over his shoulder. "We'll meet you in the great hall at 11. Dress warm".