What Sirius never said

Chapter 64

The boys were all fairly appologetic when James and I returned, and I had become sufficiently un-grumpy to crack a smile after someone cracked a joke. They hadn't meant it and I was aware that I was over reacting. What did take me by surprise however, was the shiny badge I noticed pinned to Lily's chest.
"Is that a headgirl badge?" I asked her in surprise. She nodded. "Yeah, I got the letter from Dumbledore yesterday" she smiled. I looked around at everyone in surprise, only to find them all staring at me as if waiting for something.
"What?" I asked nervously. "Do I have food in my teeth?"
Everyone chuckled nervously. "Lily isn't the big surprise" Sirius told me, nodding at James as he took a swig of his beer.
"What?" I asked, spinning and staring at James's chest. An identical headboy badge was pinned there. "James?!?!" I could feel my eyes popping out of my head.
Everyone burst out laughing.
"Who on earth would make you head boy?!" I asked in shock.
"I got the letter from Dumbledore yesterday too. He said he thinks it will encourage my maturity. He has noticed the good work I've done whenever Remus is ill." He said as if reciting the letter by heart.
"And if you're not in detention" Sirius muttered under his breath. We snorted at that. I sat back in my chair. I couldn't believe it. What mature streak had Dumbledore seen? Because I surely hadn't seen a damn thing in the year I had been hanging out with them. I shook my head, completely baffled and everyone else laughed. They had clearly had this conversation many times already. So instead of rehashing it all again, we fell into a game of spin the wand until conversation naturally took over again.
"I can't believe I got sparked again" I moaned as I was hit with red sparks for the fifteenth time. "Hand eye coordination is not your strong suit is it?" Sirius teased.
"It's infuriating. I know what I have to do, but I just can't do it".
"I know how you feel" Peter sulked. He had been hit nearly as many times as me. I grimaced over at him in sympathy.
"At least you're not starting to burn yourself" I moaned, rubbing my arm where the sparks had gotten a little close.
"You should run it under cold water" Lily suggested. We all turned to stare at her.
"Why would she do that?" Sirius asked.
"To stop the burning?" Lily replied, suddenly unsure of herself. She looked around at us all uncertainly. "It's what mum and dad taught me to do if you burn yourself".
"Muggles" Peter laughed, and the rest of us chuckled.
"What will they come up with next?" James laughed. Lily looked a little crestfallen at that so I gave James a good kick to make him notice.
"I'm sorry" he appologised quickly.
"It's okay, I just... Forget sometimes".
"Tell you what Lily, can you do a cooling charm on it please. You're right, I think that would help and I don't trust any of these knitwits".
She smiled gratefully at me, pulled out her wand and pointed it at my arm. I instantly felt the cooling effects of the charm and the redness reduced.
"Thank you" I breathed out. I glanced across the table at Sirius to find him watching my arm, a slight frown line between his eyebrows.
"Another round anyone?" I asked, and his eyes shot up to mine and he nodded.
"I'll help" he offered.
"Aw, why can't I..." Peter whined but I was already up and across the garden before they could argue this again. Sirius caught up with me at the door.
"What's up?" I asked him casually. "Why the sad face back there".
"You said you don't trust me" he pouted. That was why I liked him, he got straight to the point.
"Sirius" I sighed. "Our friends don't know. That's the point. We're already pushing it by spending so much time together, even if they don't know the half of it. Think how suspicious it would be if I say I only trust Lily and you. They'd sus it out in a heart beat. Besides, Lily was sad and I was trying to cheer her up". I had reached the bar and leaned down on it, letting my head sag on my arms in frustration. Why was it that every time I got to the bar I was pissed off?
"I'm sorry" Sirius murmured quietly. I turned to look at him and saw his apology in his eyes. I nodded in response then turned back to the bar.
"You... You just have to trust that when I'm grouping you in with your friends, for the next hour at least, I don't mean you."
"Okay" he agreed. "I'll try".
There was a pause then as we waited for Toms attention. The bar was busy and there were only a couple of people serving drinks. "What can I get you?" Tom asked finally.
"An elberberry and rosewater please" I told him. "And a beer for Sirius. And what will everyone else have?" I asked Sirius, turning to him. He looked at me in panic.
"I forgot to ask" he admitted. "I mean, the guys will have a beer, but I don't know what Lily drinks. I don't know if Lily is even drinking".
We both looked at Tom sheepishly. "Come back when you know what you want to order" he snapped at us, then moved on to the next person.
Sirius and I burst into laughter. I hated making Tom grumpy, but laughter was the best way to deal with the tension.
"You go ask them" I told him. "I'm going to go to the loo".
He nodded and we split off.

I had been quicker than Sirius and had just stepped back into the bar when I felt someone step up beside me. I turned to smile at them but froze when I saw who it was. Eric Roswell. Not now. Not again.
"Trudy Greenwood" he sneered in his drawling voice. "Fancy seeing you here".
"What do you want Eric?" I snapped.
He stepped up close. "I just fancied having a one on one chat" he told me, shuffling closer still and putting his head down close to mine. I glanced around me swiftly. We were in the doorway of the bar, the toilets behind me, the open room in front. The room was crowded and noisy. No one was looking our way.
"Go away Eric" I told him. I tried to push past him but he stopped me.
"Aww come one Trudy, I just want to finish what we started last Christmas".
"We didn't start anything last Christmas Eric" I told him, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. I was looking away from his face but he pushed his body against mine.
"Come on Trudy" he whined. "You know you want to".
"No, Eric, I don't".
"Trudy" he went in for the kiss. I tried to get my wand out of my pocket but in my fumbling I dropped it.
"Stop Eric" I begged.
"She said stop" a new voice entered the conversation. The voice was hard and angry and at the sound of it Eric stopped, then stepped away.
"Again Black? Anyone would think you don't want me to have any fun" he sneered.
"Get away from her" Sirius told him. I watched Sirius. I was frozen to the spot but my eyes were trained on him, pleading. His eyes remained on Eric. They were blacker and angrier than I had ever seen them. "Do you remember what I said last time you tried to force yourself on her?" He continued in a cold, dangerous voice.
"Ha. Last time? You don't have McGonagall to hide behind this time Black. Bring" but Eric's speech of false bravado was cut short as Sirius whipped out his wand and cast a repellent jinx so powerful that Roswell was blasted ten feet back along the corridor where he crumpled on the floor, without even having time to raise his wand. Sirius rushed towards me. And then the shaking started and the tears came. "Shit Tru" he whispered, and put an arm around me to reassure me. Breath Trudy. Breath. Somehow, it was a lot easier to breath with Sirius there beside me. "Come on Tru, let's get away from the creep" he whispered, and I let him guide me through the busy room and back out into the garden under the pink sky of a setting sun. "Focus on the fires" he muttered to me, and I did, focusing on each flame in a raised brasier that we passed on our way to the table. In two three four. Out two three four. "Just focus on me Tru, don't panic. You're safe" Sirius muttered, and then we were surrounded by a clamour of other voices. I shied into Sirius' side. He gently pushed me down on the picnic table and hushed the other voices, then I heard as he explained what happened.
"Roswell AGAIN?" James exploded. "We need to go and teach him, in no uncertain terms, to leave our Trudy alone" he fumed.
"It's no good" Sirius replied. "I saw him stand up and disapparate just as we left the room. He'll be long gone by now".
"That bastard" Remus joined in, fury lacing his words.
"We'll get him next time" Peter squeaked.
"Are you okay Trudy?" Sirius asked me gently, pushing his face into my field of vision.
I looked into his eyes, focusing solely on them, and felt the panic receed. Slowly I nodded and, still taking deep breaths, I agreed.
"I'm okay" I whispered horsley. "I'm okay. He didn't get to me. I'm okay" I felt a hand rubbing my back and looked up quickly to find Lily watching me sympathetically.
"It sucks when guys do that" she said in such a way that made everyone look at her.
"Have you ever had it happen to you?" James asked nervously.
Lily nodded. "Yep. Rudolphus Lestrange tried to kiss me back in our fourth year, in Hogsmead". The boys were quiet around us, staring at her. I felt Sirius shuffle closer to me and noticed James put a hand on her leg and give it a squeeze.
"Did you get away?" James almost whispered.
"I did. I hexed him so badly he had to be taken to the hospital wing. But whether or not you get away, it's a horrible feeling".
I could only nod in agreement. "It makes you feel powerless. And hopeless. And so, so very alone" I whispered.
"Yes but Trudy, you're never really alone are you? I mean, even when you're on your own at school or something, everyone is still looking out for you. Sirius and Andy and Kate and James. They'd notice something was up wouldn't they. And besides, you've always got your wand on you. You're the most proficient witch in our class. And by extension in our year. You're a formidable foe. I wouldn't want to threaten you if you were armed that's for sure" Lily told me, still stroking my back. I looked up and met Sirius' eyes, the dark grey pools of reassurance. Then I shifted my gaze between each of them, watching them all slowly nod. Finally my eyes met hers. I nodded. "Thank you" I told her.