What Sirius never said

Chapter 57

Sirius and I threw ourselves into our work, each taking to our jobs with enthusiasm and joy. But what started off with the hope of seeing each other every day, slowly dissipated into a stream of missed lunch dates and uncoordinated days off.
"Why can't he just meet me at 1?" I ranted to Mum one evening.
"Because he, like you, has committments outside of the relationship" she explained patiently as she chopped a cucumber. "He has to work to a schedule too".
"I just feel like he isn't interested in me anymore" I grumbled. Not letting her win this one. She returned with a 'really'? kind of look. I ignored it. Instead I watched her morosely across the kitchen table. "Did you ever have these issues with Dad?" I asked.
"Of course I did" she replied. "Him and his bloody vegetable garden. But you have to deal with this. You have to work out your priorities and where you stand with each other. And you have to respect each others passions and commitments. Once I realised what the garden meant to your father, I cut him a lot more slack".
"But it's just a job thats stopping Sirius from seeing me. Ice-cream isn't his passion" I whined.
"And what about you and your job?" Mum asked. "Why can you not prioritise him either?"
"Because it's my job" I grumbled into the table top, knowing she was right. My head hit the table and I sat there for a while sulking. Until I heard the door open and Adams voice say "what's wrong with her?"
"She needs a walk" Mum replied and I heard the jangle of Maisies lead. Then I felt mum pull on my shoulders. Lifting me out of my seat, she pushed me towards the door. "Go on. Out you go, both of you. I am done with your moping today" I loved mum, but she could be quite blunt at times. I put on my wellies and followed Adam out the door.

"So what is wrong?" Adam asked when we reached the top of the hill. I explained the situation to him.
"Ah" he responded. "That old chestnut. You said Garrick knows right? Can you just ask to have a different lunch hour?"
I pondered the suggestion for a while. "Why should I do that though. Why can't Sirius?"
"Trudy, you're determined to be miserable about this! You're the one being miserable. It's on you to fix that, not him! If Sophie was going to wait around for me to fix all of her problems, she'd be waiting a very long time. I'm only human. So is Sirius. He has his own shit to deal with. Life is too short to be miserable of your own volition." The wind whipped my hair as I thought about what he has said. Life was short. I needed to fix things with Sirius.
"Communication is key" Adam muttered next to me. And for whatever reason I felt like he was talking from experience.
It took another few days however for me to actually talk to Garrick and coordinate my lunch times with Sirius. It wasn't until an incident occurred which reminded me quite how precarious our situation was.
I was taking a stroll with Sirius down Diagon Alley. It was a sunny Monday afternoon and for once we had managed to coordinate our break times. As we were in public we remained a respectful distance apart, but we enjoyed a bit of window shopping and had a good laugh, imagining what we would do with the aparatus in the window display of the apothecary.
We had just turned back towards Frobishers when we passed two tall cloaked men. I thought nothing of them until a hand struck out and caught Sirius by the arm.
"Well well well, if it isn't little Black" a low cold voice spoke. "We've been asked to keep an eye on you". I took a step backwards and cast a glance at Sirius, my hand inching towards the wand tucked into my pocket. Sirius pulled his arm free and glared at the two men.
"And who has asked for that?" He spat.
"The dark lord likes to keep tabs on those he feels would do him a worthy service" The mans voice drawled. I tried to get a glance under his hood but could only make out two dark eyes above a wide nose.
"Well you can tell the dark lord that I won't be joining his service. Not now, not ever".
"That's the kind of passion he's after" the man taunted. "But best be careful. The dark lord always gets what he wants". I noticed the mans eyes flick to me and felt a shiver run down my spine. His companion, who had been silent thus far, started to giggle.
"We like to have a little fun with pretty girls" he hissed. I glanced around us in the street, panic written in my face, but the shoppers around us were hurrying on with their business, eyes cast down.
"Come on Tru" Sirius hissed, and tugged on my arm. I looked back to find him looking deathly pale. The men had turned away and were walking off down the street. Sirius lead the way, turning down the first side street he came across, then a second until we were in a dark shadowy corner, the sunlight blocked out by the high buildings either side. Finally, he pulled me to him and I felt us disapparate, the familiar squeezing feeling squishing me into his side until it spat us back out in the sunlight. I looked up to find us in the courtyard of the book shop.
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked me fervently.
"I'm okay" I told him, perhaps a little shakily, so he took my head in his hands and studied my face until he saw the truth of the matter. "I'm okay" I reassured him. "Are you?"
He took in a deep, shaky breath. "I'm okay" he let it out.
"Who were they?" I asked, keeping my eyes trained on him as he turned and paced the courtyard.
"Death eaters. Eccleston and Philmonger by my best guess. Well known ones but no one has been able to bring them to heel yet. Nasty men" he kept glancing at me as he paced, as if terrified I would just vanish.
"I'm okay Sirius" I told him. "They didn't get me at all. I'll be alright, I've got my wand in my pocket. I can take care of myself. I'm not some helpless maid, you've seen me duel", I tried to reassure him. He nodded and it seemed to have worked but he pulled me into a bone crushing hug all the same.
"I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was the reason you got hurt Trudy" he told me gently. And in that moment my heart broke for him. I understood his pain, but to have it realised so suddenly.... When we had gotten over the shock and fear, at least a little, we headed back into the shop. Sirius headed for home while I went in search of Garrick, to ask if I could work my lunches and days off in with Sirius. He responded in the affirmative and from then on we spent every lunch time together and days off when we could.