What Sirius never said

Chapter 52

The moon was high in the sky. A half moon. Its light illuminated the grounds and sparkled off the water of the lake.
It wasn't too hard to find Sirius. He was exactly where we had agreed to meet. But he wasn't the only shape looming out of the dark. He had a small rowing boat with him.
"Where on earth did you get that?" I asked as I approached.
I saw him shrug in the moonlight. "From the cave where they store the boats. Have you never been there?" I shook my head. "You remember when we went to Hogsmead for our date, along the passage? And there was a gap in the wall. That's a back way into the cave. I just went that way and borrowed one. I thought you might like a moonlight row".
"Sounds good to me" I replied, shimmying past him and climbing into the boat.
He followed me in and to my surprise, he pulled a couple of oars out of the bottom of the boat.
"I didn't even know they had them" I commented, remembering the first time I was in one of these boats. When it was me, Andy and Kate following Hagrid across the lake before our first year of school. Back then we were so young and innocent but I still remember the awe I felt when Hagrid tapped his boat and they all started gliding through the water. Definitely no oars.
"They have some on the side in the cave"  Sirius explained as he set the oars and pushed out into the lake. "They don't really stop any students from using the boats. I guess they don't really advertise them either, but it's quite easy".
I nodded and looked around me in the moon light. It was beautiful. The outline of Hogwarts silhouetted against the sky, rising high above the mountains behind it. The stars glittered faintly in the sky too, largely obscured by the bright moon.
"I love the stars" I sighed.
"I thought you might" Sirius grinned. "Which is your favourite constellation?"
"It used to be the big dipper."
"And now?" I could hear the smug satisfaction in his voice.
"Orions belt" I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.
He barked out a laugh. We fell silent as Sirius rowed us further out into the lake. We were both tired and didn't seem up for massive conversations, but I didn't mind. It was a comfortable silence.
After a while he stopped and tapped the oars with his wand, freezing them in place. Then he slid across the gap between us and settled himself next to me on my bench. The bench was small so I cuddled into Sirius's side, relishing the comfort and warmth.
"What's your plan for the summer?" Sirius asked. We had spent so long worrying about our exams that we hadn't actually chatted about that yet.
"I've got a job at the second hand book shop in Diagon Alley." I explained. "Frobishers. You know the one? Dad is friends with Frobisher and he was looking for someone to help out over the summer.... what about you?"
"I don't know yet.... I need to find a job. Something near the Potters I guess".
"Where do they live?" I asked.
"London. So diagon alley would work. Maybe I'll work as a shop boy. I think I'd rather that than an internship at the ministry."
"You're going to need to get a move on Sirius! We've only got a week left of school before the summer holidays. Have you written to anyone asking for a job?" I started to panic a little.
"Nah, not yet. But I'm sure it'll be fine." His nonchalance infuriated me. But I let it slide.
"Will I be able to see you over the summer?" He asked shyly, glancing sideways at me.
"Of course" I leant my head against his shoulder. "Of course you will. You're always welcome to come over for dinner. And if we're both working in Diagon Alley then we can see each other on our lunch breaks"
"And what do I tell James? When I keep coming over for dinner?"
"I don't know... tell him you're working late?" We both laughed at that. The irony.
"I'll think of something" Sirius said. He sighed and slid off the bench, lying back in the boat. I copied him, snuggling into his side again. We both looked up at the sky, perfectly content.
"I'm so tired" Sirius started again. "I thought it would be such a romantic thing to do, you know, meeting at midnight. But I just want a good night's sleep".
I laughed at that. "We can go back and go to bed if you want".
"No" he instinctively pulled me closer. "No. I want to stay here a little longer. I'm sorry. It was going to be so romantic but those exams really took it out of me".
I chuckled into his side. "It's okay. A lot of romantic things aren't actually that fun if you do them. I mean, kissing in the rain looks great in the pictures, but really you're just damp and cold". I felt his chest rumble with laughter.
"I love you Trudy".
I froze. He just said he loved me. He kissed the top of my head. He just said he loved me! I felt my heart leap, butterflies erupted in my stomach. Suddenly the night seemed less cold.
"I love you too Sirius" I smiled to myself, and cuddled closer into his chest. And in that moment, I was so very happy.
I turned my face up to his and kissed him.