𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿.

forty nine.

   I sit silently in the bed as Rafe paces back and forth in front of me. We haven't spoken a word since Kiara left. I watch Rafe carefully, my eyes following his every movement.

   "You don't have to do that," he grumbles.

   I narrow my eyes, "what?"

   "I'm not-" he stops pacing, "I'm not gonna do anything to you."

   "Why not? You seem to want to hurt all my friends-"

   "Jesus Lia!" He throws his hands up, "you're my baby sister, I'm not gonna do anything to you."

   My frown deepens, "Sarah's your sister too, more than I am."

   "It's- It's different-"

   "How?"

   "Sarah betrayed us! She betrayed dad!"

   "And I didn't?"

   "You didn't have a choice!"

   "What?" my brows twist in confusion.

   Rafe lets out a frustrated sigh, "dad- dad usually knows what he's doing. He's a good guy, you know, he just wants the best for his family."

   I roll my eyes, the brainwashing never ends.

   "But you," he hesitates, "you're the only mistake he ever made."

   "What's that supposed to mean?"

   "Sending you away," we meet eyes, "sending you away was the biggest mistake he ever made. You can't help it if you're on the pogues side, he betrayed you first."

   In some way, Rafe's twisted logic is starting to make sense to me.

   Just then the door is thrown open, Kiara being shoved inside before it's slammed shut behind her. She takes a seat on the bed, hiding her head in her hands. I crawl over to her, "what's wrong? What happened?"

   "It's them," she whispers so Rafe can't hear, "they found our friends."

   My eyes widen, "how?"

   "What is it?"

   At no response Rafe rolls his eyes, "listen you two are gonna have to talk to me at some point."

   "Do I have to remind you of everything you did?" Kie looks at him, "you killed Peterkin, do you remember that? And everything you put Sarah through."

   "Peterkin- I was protecting my father okay-" he points at me, "our father. I did what I had to, so- don't. I'm as much a victim as she is."

   He cannot be serious right now.

   "What did I get from shooting her? Nothing. I had nothing against her. I mean, I- I liked her. You think I wanted to make that choice? What I did was a gift from me to my father. For- for him. And I got screwed because of it," he rambles.

   In some ways Rafe's struggle for Ward's approval is sweet. It's also horrifying how far he'll go for it.

   Our family has deep, deep generational trauma/

   "I will admit though- what I did- what I did to Sarah. What I tried to do to Sarah...I admit that was wrong."

   I look up at him, tears pooling in his eyes.

   "I know that, so you don't have to remind me," he rubs at his face.

   "Rafe what did you do?"

   "I know! I know," he rubs and scratches his face as tears fall. "Dad's gonna be so mad! He's gonna be so mad at me!"

   Sarah rolls her eyes, "suck it up, you shouldn't have been playing soccer inside."