𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿.

twenty five.

I sit silently in my bathtub, shower water running down my back as I tug my knees closer to my chest.

Nothing feels real.

It hasn't since hours ago.

It's four something in the morning and I'm finally home.

They had asked us to stay for questioning which is when I found out that Sarah was on the boat as well. It just made the heartbreak all the more severe.

I look down at the water running to the drain, grime, blood, and sweat washing off of me. I should probably actually scrub with soap but I can't exactly motivate myself to do that at the moment.

I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

"Come in," my voice is dry.

JJ pokes his head inside, averting his eyes to the ceiling at the sight of me. "Do you need some help?" he offers.

I nod.

He takes a seat on the edge of the tub behind me, grabbing the shower head. He begins to wash the blood and dirt from my hair gently, his hands massaging my scalp.

We sit in a comfortable, uncomfortable silence.

Taking in each other's presences.

He moves on to wash my back, careful of the scrape marks. When he finishes he hands me the loofa and looks away. I lazily run my hand up and down my front side before dropping it and turning off the water.

JJ holds out my towel for me, wrapping me in it. He sits me on the toilet before digging into the cabinet beneath my sink and pulling out a first aid kit.

I watch him carefully as he dresses my wounds.

He starts at the scars on my knees before moving to my hands and then up to my face. He gently brushes my hair out of the way of where I hit my head. He cleans and bandages it, running his thumb over it once he's done.

He then hands me my clothes, turning as I get dressed. Once I'm done we walk together down the hall towards the stairs to my room. My house is eerily quiet as we creep into my bedroom.

I take a seat on my bed, JJ doing the same across from me.

We sit and stare at each other for a moment.

"Catalina?"

"JJ?"

He frowns, "I don't know if I can do this without John B."

I purse my lips, nodding. If I wasn't well out of tears I'd probably be crying right now. I remember back when I never used to cry. God, things have changed since then.

I slip under my covers and JJ follows my lead. We both lay on our sides to be facing each other. I press my cheek into my pillow, "I can't believe I lost both of them in the same day."

"Do you-" JJ stops himself for a moment, "do you really think they're dead?"

I shake my head, "I don't know what to believe anymore."