I Remember You.

Chapter 63 - True Colours.

The Following Afternoon...
Lorelei Anderson...

Up until about 10 minutes ago; I hadn't wanted to believe that Kevin might be right about my supposed Mother and Alex. Not because I feel anything for Alex.

No, my refusal to believe was because despite my bravado, I still wanted a relationship with my mother somewhere down the line. I had hoped that maybe she had really changed and that my dad was seeing something that we weren't.

It's stupid really because I should have known better. I mean the woman walked out on us when things got a little too real. Not only did she walk out but she left my dad almost entirely penniless. And for that reason alone, I hate her.

I literally hate her.

I cannot fathom why my dad would just let it all go and take her back. I mean, sure he loves her, I get that, but I know for a fact that if Kevin did to me what Sara did to my dad, then I would 'never' forgive him. I couldn't. As much as I love him, I would lose all respect I had for him and for me our relationship survives on mutual respect, without it, there is nothing more than a physical attraction.

Is that all my dad is to my Sara?

A quick and easy lay?

Someone to easily manipulate?

I mean, as unsettling as it is, I know that my dad could probably have any woman he wants. I guess he is good looking, he takes care of his body, he has a good job, money in the bank (at least I hope that is still the case), and he has a wicked sense of humour. He is as smart as almost anyone else I know. It truly boggles my mind that he would stoop so low as to get back with someone who tried to break him.

Anyway, I digress because the moment Kevin and I stepped into court this afternoon, our eyes landed on Sara and my dad sitting right behind Alex and the lawyer who was clearly representing him.

My entire body tensed up, but Kevin eased me into a spot out of their view and we waited. I have to say that Kevin has been a rock for me – he has been a monolith of strength; holding me up and telling me that I could do this. Even right up to the moment we stepped through the security check-in at the front of the court-house. I had never stepped foot in a court-house before, let alone a single court-room. It was all a little under-whelming if I am being honest. Dull and dark colours made the space feel almost claustrophobic. And I am always a girl who loves deep, rich colour but this wasn't anything like what I like. The dullness came from the over-abundance of wood, dark oppressive wood and the very little space that wasn't covered in said wood was a light cream colour, but it was lost in the darkness. Long wooden pews like the ones found in a church made up seating on both sides of the layout. More wood was used for the judge's podium, or was it bull-pit? Whatever, where the judge resided was made of the same dark smothering wood. A beautiful, but once again wooden carving of lady-justice adorned the wall behind him. Along with a painted Latin expression that I have no understanding of because I don't speak Latin. The lawyers' tables were sat side by side with a gap between the two. Wooden railings separated the lawyers from the gallery. And to the right side of the space was a small, raised dais that held three rows of chairs and was almost caged in by, you guessed it, more wood. It was all very oppressive but then again, I guess it isn't supposed to be all bright lights and rainbows.

I watched as the prosecutor took the floor and laid out the details of the charges, hearing the details being rehashed in front of so many people made me want to sink down to the floor. I know that I shouldn't feel ashamed because none of what happened was my fault. I knew that Alex had acted on the order of Sara. That much was obvious to me, even if there was no mention of her, or the whole connection that she had to this case.