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The Clean Up Effort

Marinettes POV

"Are you sure you want to go today?" I look at my mom and nod. 

"Cha- I mean the heroes aren't supposed to be there today. So I think it would be the best choice for me." My mom looked at me and smiled sadly. I couldn't take the pitying looks any longer so I bid them goodbye and made my way to the school. 

Today was the clean-up effort and refugee help of the people who lost their homes from the bomb. I was meeting my class at the school, where we would take a bus to the wreckage spot. 

I pause at the crosswalk and subconsciously pull at my oversized T-shirt. The t-shirt from Chats box. It smelled like him. It was both comforting and heartbreaking.

I quickly walk across the road and approach the large crowd of people gathering at the school's steps. I glance around and spot Alya, Nino, and Adrien standing off to the side chatting. 

I tentatively wander over and send them all a small smile. Nino searched my face and then surprised me by hugging me. He never was super touchy-feely with me. 

"How are you doing dude?" 

"I-" I pause, look at him, and decide to be honest. "I'm trying."  

"And that's all we ask," Alya said as she slung her arm around my shoulders and squeezed me. I look at Adrien and he doesn't look too good. He has shadows under his eyes, his hair is messy and his clothes are all wrinkled. He normally looks so put together, so him looking so... out of sorts? It was concerning. 

I pulled out from Alya's arm and looked Adrien in the eyes. "Can we talk?" I sent Nino a look. "Privately?"

Adrien's shoulders seemed to tense but he nodded, and we walked over to a quieter part of the school. 

"Are-" I took a deep breath, "Are you ok?" Adrien's eyes snapped up to mine and he seemed at a loss of words. His eyes then traced down my body, lingering on my shirt. I grew uncomfortable under his scrutiny and cleared my throat, which had his eyes meeting mine again. 

"I'm confused." 

"About?" Adrien held my gaze for another second before looking down at his feet. "You have been ignoring me, and giving me the silent treatment for how many weeks? And now all of a sudden you care? I just don't get it." 

I paused and stared at Adrien until he met my eyes. "Do you want me to apologize? Do you want me to fall at your feet? Adrien, I was in the Hospital for months, I got sexually harassed after coming home, which you would have known if you bothered to give me a call, I almost got hit by a car, broke my leg, and was back in the hospital for multiple other things and on top of it all my reason for living thinks I'm something vile. I will NOT apologize for dealing with this load of shit that's been thrown at me. If you bothered to care then you would have known this. But I'm not you. I do care. So what's wrong."

Adrien stood there in shock clearly not knowing how to react. I was surprised to see pain in his eyes. Unadulterated pain. He looked down at his feet but didn't say anything. 

"Adrien. You're clearly going through something, and I'm sorry, but I can't help you if you don't let me."

Adrien let out a stangled laugh. "You sound like a mom." He rasped out. I went to touch his shoulder but he flinched away. "We should join the group again" Adrien turned away and walked away. I sighed and shook my head. It wasn't my business. 

I trudged over to Alya and she glanced between me and Nino who walked over to Adrien. 

"What's going on?" I shook my head. "I don't know. I'm trying to make peace with him but I think he's going through something right now." Alya nodded and was about to respond when the bus pulled up and everyone started filing onto it. 

Obviously, I sat beside Alya and we listened to music on the way to the wreck site. When we arrived I threw my hair up into a quick, high ponytail and followed the class to the directors. 

For the next 6 hours, we cleared rubble and recovered as many belongings as we could. It was hard, non-stop work, except for a lunch break. My leg began hurting around the 5th hour but I powered through. We had people handing out food and water to the construction workers, and we even had donuts. 

When I finally got home around 9 pm I collapsed onto the couch. I was exhausted. And my leg seriously hurt. I was tempted to Ladybug it up so the body aches would go away. Tikki not so subtly reminded me that I shouldn't use my powers for my gain.

Kill joy

Mom gave me some soup and ice cream and encouraged me to go to bed, which I was down for. After taking a quick scolding hot shower and changing into pajamas (translation; a sweatshirt Chat left at my house) I cuddled into my blankets and talked with Tikki. 

After Tikki went to sleep in the little house I made her I just stared at the ceiling. That was the worst part of the night. The night was when the pain crept in. The night was when loneliness sunk its talons into your skin and wouldn't let go, tearing and ripping into you. 

The night had many hours. Many hours to overthink. Many hours to become so scared of your own thoughts you would do anything to get them to go away, begging, pleading, screaming for them to just stop; they never do.

They never do..