Dieter's Prize

Twenty-Seven

Dieter's POV

I walked through the sparring courts and all everyone did was stare. Probably because of how uncharacteristically tough I have been these past few days. 

All my pack members were filled with nerves as I walked through watching, judging, and changing things. They all tried their best to perform to their ability but it never was up to par. Though I don't think anything will be. Not until I fix what's wrong between Crispin and me.

But there's not much for me to do. He told me he needed space from me. So I would willingly give it to him. No matter how badly it hurts me. No matter how much I want to run to him and hold him to me. I can't. 

Our argument replays on repeat in my mind. Things I said to him...were cruel and unfair. He doesn't deserve to be treated and spoken to in such a cruel way. The moment Crispin found me I would apologize. I would get on my knees and beg for his forgiveness. 

These past few days, Rena has also been calling nonstop. Asking questions of when we would get Carter, and how he wants to speak to me. Which were all valid. I tried to talk to him as much as I could, but I could tell it wasn't enough for him. I tried explaining to her that right now is not the best time for him to come live with us. 

How our relationship was strained and his coming would make things worse. Though it made me feel incredibly guilty and selfish to say such things. Carter needed us, and I recognized that, but right now I need Crispin and he needs me...

As much as I hate to say it...Carter had to wait.

My phone rang in my pocket and an all too familiar name flashed on the screen. I answered the Facetime and I saw the face of a man who seemed to have all the answers.

"Koa." I gruffed out.

"I'm going to kill you." He growled out and I huffed in amusement.

For the past few days, I have not been their best friend towards him. He has been calling non-stop and I have been ignoring him. Not for any reason particular, but more so I am embarrassed to tell him all that has happened. He and Tino have a relationship I admire and I only dreamed of having such a bond with my mate. 

"Go inside, so we can talk like human beings." He spoke pulling me from my thoughts. 

I did as he said and found a quiet empty room in the pack house and sighed as I propped the phone up on a table.

"Koa, before you start on your tangent, things have been rough," I told him truthfully and ran my hands down my face.

"Talk to me, friend. What troubles you?"

I sighed and before I knew it I was word vomitting to him. I told him everything that had happened since Crispin and I marked each other. About our argument, and our sacrifice. I explained it all to him, even though shame slowly crept in and urged me to stay silent. But I fought against it. Knowing that this was my best friend and that I could trust him with anything. 

"My goddess, Dieter. You should have called me sooner." He sighed as I finished my rant.

It felt like a small weight had been lifted, it was nice to speak to someone else about this other than my mother. And Koa always provided the best advice.

"What do I do?" My voice was low and quiet. It was strange, the feeling of vulnerability.

"It seems to me the best thing you can do is wait. Which I know is not what you want to hear. But when Valentino and I were not in the best spot, I had to take a step back and let him come to me."