Dieter's Prize

Twenty-Five

Dieter's POV

I slammed the door to my room closed and there sat Crispin. Standing firm against the opposite wall, far away from me. I had a deep fear that this would happen, that he would see me and how I am with my pack and he would run away.

I knew he was a pacifist, I knew he opposed violence. But I never once hid myself from him. But now that I look back on it did we talk about such things? No not really. We didn't talk much at all. Even in that time apart at the beginning, most of our conversations were surface and flirty.

But as I stared at my mate, who now wore my mark, he looked terrified. Of me.

Did he not know I would never hurt him?

"Crispin--" I panted out, but he interrupted quickly.

"What the fuck was that?" I wasn't used to his voice being so harsh, and mean...especially towards me.

"I'm confused by your question," I told him truthfully which got me a scoff and he rolled his eyes.

"You stabbed your pack member? What the FUCK was that?" His face was bright red with anger and his chest moved up and down in a quick motion. "He had a mate, Dieter! And you killed him!"

"I DIDN'T KILL HIM!" My voice was loud and heavy, and if we weren't in my alpha wing I'm sure the entire pack would be able to hear our conversation. "I wouldn't kill a man who has a mate and a family." I sighed, calming my anger. "You should know I wouldn't do that."

I think that is what hurt the most. The fact he would think I would do such a cruel thing. I would never leave a mate on their own, seeing as I know just how sacred they are. But I am an alpha and this is the way of the pack. Thomas knew the consequences of going against me and he did so anyway. He brought it upon himself.

"I--I don't--I don't know that." His voice was soft but the words cut me from deep inside my core. It was tearing me apart, so much so I could wince outwardly because of how much they hurt.

"What I saw out there, is not my Dieter. I knew you had a way with others that was different than how we interacted. I accepted that. But this is--is too far." Crispin's eyes stayed firmly on the ground like he was unable to look at me. He was scared of what he'd see.

"What you saw is a part of me. I told you this!"

"You didn't tell me this! Why do you keep saying that?" He was exasperated and ran his hands through his hair.

"Did I not warn you? Did I not tell you all the things that came with being with me?" I started pacing back and forth, finding myself unable to stand still any longer.

"Yes, but--but--"

"But what? You thought us being together would change me?" Shame and sadness washed over his face and the statement made it to his ears. I balled my hands into a tight fist as the realization came crashing down.

"I told you time and time again, there is nothing that can be done. The deal with the goddess has been set. This is the way of my life."

"Dieter--"

"I am sorry, I am not what you expected." My chest was tight and I found it extremely hard to breathe. "But I tried to tell you and tried to talk to you, so it is not my fault you did not listen." That earned me a scoff.

"You tried? Mentioning it once or twice is not trying! You should have sat me down and explained to me in detail what I was getting into!"

"And when should I have done that, Crispin? Before or after I sucked your dick and fucked your brains out? It's not my fault any time I tried to talk about anything real you shut me down!"