a work of art

chapter 46: moving forward

It took a few days, but we finally hiked. The woods were beautiful, the weather was perfect, and the cabin came with its own tiny, private beach. The water was freezing, but it felt good on our still lightly aching bodies.

Shark loved it, too, not minding the cold water, jumping and splashing us and making us laugh and scream.

After we swam around for a while, we found a huge boulder to sunbathe on, lazing next to each other on the hot, flat rock in the sun.

"I love you," I murmured in her ear. "You're my favorite person."

She turned and gazed at me, moony eyed, her nose wrinkled as it always was whenever I said something mushy. "I love you, too, baby."

I kissed her slow, and rested my forehead on hers. "I'm glad we took this trip."

She gave a little groan, then pecked my mouth with hers lightly. "Our relationship needed it."

"Yeah..." I muttered. "I guess it did. We've worked through a lot, huh?"

"Yep."

We laid in silence, watching clouds go by and pressing little kisses to each others skin every now and then. After a while, Billie stretched and sat up, then turned away onto her hip to take the pressure off her lower half. She winced. "My ass doesn't like this rock."

I reached out and rubbed her back, gently tracing her spine with my fingers. I came to her still damp bikini bottom, and lingered on the edge of fabric that touched her ass cheek. I pushed it aside; the bruising there still looked awful, dark blue in some spots, starting to yellow in others.

"Billie," I said softly.

She looked over her shoulder. "Mm?"

"Why did you let it go that far? That long? It was too much."

She looked out at the turquoise water. She was quiet for a long time. Then she took a breath.

"It was all my fault. Both times."

I stared at her profile, not speaking. Something told me to keep my mouth shut, that there was more coming.

After a few minutes, it paid off. "I pushed the threesome, and that fucked us all up. And then... we made up. We were friends, Lucy. We were all just friends, hanging out all the time, even just comfortably sharing the bed. And I just had to say something..."

She stopped again, traced a vein of color on the rock, staring down at it. Her wet hair fell over her shoulders, so long it landed on the stone.

"I got us all hurt. It was my fault. The pain that you feel—"

Her voice cracked, and she turned away so I couldn't see her face. I was stunned speechless.

After a long time, I sat up. I moved so my legs settled on either side of her, then pulled her back so she could sit against me. She was stiff, either from pain or emotion, or both, but she finally settled her back against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I hope you heard how ridiculous that all sounded."

She turned her head back to look at me. "What?"

She was probably expecting some heartfelt speech about how much I loved her, how I could never blame her. This was true, but not what she needed to hear.

"That's... fucking crazy," I muttered. "If you actually believe that this whole thing was caused by only you."

She didn't answer.

"I realize that the world sorta revolves around you, baby," I chuckled, and she whipped her head to glare at me. "But this situation took three dumbasses who all decided to put themselves in a crazy situation. Right?"