~Cruor~

Vamptember day 14 ~ Melancholy

Pictures hung from the walls, reminding Samuel of what he had lost.

The house was cold, you had taken the warmth with you when you had left him behind. He couldn't see himself in the pictures, but he saw you. Drops of clear salt descended from his eyes and onto the pages. Part of him wanted to step out into the sun so he could join you. But the sweet little thing holding his fingers with their little hand had him reconsider. He couldn't just abandon your greatest gift to him. Samuel would never forgive himself if he left his beloved child at some orphanage.

The dark walls of the home didn't look as inviting as they used to, neither did his bed. Nowhere in his house felt sacred anymore. Even the turning leaves of autumn couldn't prevent the melancholy from sinking in further and further. It wasn't like  he had no hope. An attractive man seemingly in his thirties with beautiful bright eyes and brown hair. Many women would be delighted to take your place as his wife and mother to your and his baby. But he couldn't do it. Every time a woman tried taking care of his baby to show him what a good stepmother she would be, or whenever a girl asked for just a moment with him. It all seemed like a cheap imitation to what you were. Sometimes he wanted to shout at them, asking them how they dared disrespect you.

His long black coat swayed slightly as he stood up from his seat, moving towards the nursery set up for your youngest offspring. You had painted the walls yourself, and picked out the toys. Your newborn was placed into the crib. Samuel broke down, sinking to his feet as his child slept, peacefully unaware of his beloved fathers suffering. He wanted you back, no matter what. No matter what happened, you were the only one to hold his heart. He sank to the ground with his face buried in his hands.

The name Samuel means heard by god.

But he doesn't feel heard at all.