Date A Mysterious Being

Chapter 15 - Bedroom Tango

"Keh... Out of the kindness of my heart, Yuzuru, I shall permit you to go first."

"Negative. That is unnecessary. In fact, Kaguya, you need a leg up. I am willing to cede the initiative."

"Y-you don't get it, do you? The instant I lower my hand, Lucas' eyes will be glued to me. Don't you understand I will leave you no opportunity to step onto the stage?"

"Skeptical. Isn't the truth that you don't know what to do?"

Kaguya twitched. "O-of course not! I'm very s-s-sexy! Wh-what is this girl even talking about?! I have plenty of adult techniques at my disposal that you've never even dreamed of!"

"Dubious. Then please show me."

"Wha-?! H-hmph! Fine, watch and learn!" Kaguya stood up and looked at Lucas as she put one hand on her head and the other on her waist- a pose that even a pinup girl past her prime would reject. "...Yoo-hoo."

Yuzuru put a hand to her mouth to suppress giggles.

"Umm..." Lucas scratched his cheek, not sure what he was supposed to say here. It wasn't that it wasn't sexy. The way the wet bath towel clung to Kaguya's skin was definitely provocative.
But the desire to flee was greater than any other feelings she might have inspired.

Kaguya's cheeks turned bright red, and she dived back into the tub. "Wh-what is with you two?!"

"Sneer. Kaguya's charms- asterisk laugh asterisk- are indeed a different breed."

"Wh-what did you say?! And wait. Is that actually it? You're the one who doesn't know what to do!" Kaguya snapped a finger out at her sister, and Yuzuru's eyebrows shot up.

"...Negative. That is not possible."

"Ha! I wonder! How about you go ahead and show me then!"

"Admission... I suppose I could." Yuzuru turned toward Lucas. "Sex appeal. Muah!" She blew him a kiss.

"...Oh. Uh-huh." Once more unsure how to react, Lucas flashed her an awkward smile, sweating a little.

"Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Kaguya clutched her belly and laughed out loud. "What was that? I mean, what was that?! You call that sex appeal?!"

"Offensive. I do not need to hear from you, Kaguya."

"Ha! We're in the same boat here!"

"Negative. Kaguya's childish body was never seductive."

"...! I-it's no different from yours!"

"Objection. Numerically, the ratio of flesh differs, albeit only marginally."

"K-keh-keh... It appears you don't know the appeal of a slender body."

"Sneer. Slender. Asterisk laugh asterisk. The facts do not change simply because you replace the words with something that sounds better."

"H-hmph! They're nothing more than lumps of fat in the end, are they not?!"

"Offensive. I cannot overlook this. I conclude this to be an outburst of Kaguya's jealousy."

"I am not jealous! Nor am I envious! It's obvious that Lucas thinks I'm much cuter than a fattie like Yuzuru!"

"Negative. Having no chest is a fatal blow in appealing to men. No one would touch chicken bones like Kaguya."

"Wh-who are you calling chicken bones?!"

"Counterattack. Who are you calling a fattie?"

"What? Also, you have so many more split ends than me! Seeee? Lucas hates women like that!"