with you. || sasuke uchiha / au

part 05 -- little sleeping pandas

"To watch the new season of The Bachelor every year."

"To get eloped in Greece and start a family."

Doodles of butterflies scattered along the page, their wings coloured in by highlighters. The more he read, the more he felt like he knew her, and a feeling of confusion washed over him.

He flicked to the latest page, her last journal entry. The most recent one, labelled a few days ago. Unlike the rest of the entries, that were several paragraphs long, this own was only short. Smudged ink from wet droplets of what looked like tears damaged some words, leaving it difficult to read properly.

TW

"I don't know how to write this one... usually I can write and write and write but... I don't know what to say. I don't want anyone to blame themselves. It was no one's doing, in fact, I've had an incredibly fulfilling life up until the past year. I can only thank every single one of you in my life, especially mommy and my little Haru. You both gave me a purpose to try. I'm sorry that I can't keep trying.

Living is scarier than dying. I don't want to live anymore. To whichever loved ono who is reading this, I'm so incredibly sorry. I love you. And I'll be watching over you. Look for me in the butterflies, I'll make sure to send some your way."

Pain struck his chest, taking his breath with it. He slammed the book shut and shoved it under the blanket again before running out of the bedroom. He ran into his own, slamming the door shut. He tugged at the fabric against his chest, wheezing desperately for simple breath. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't catch it. The room was spinning before him, making him stumble on his own two feet. It suddenly shifted sideways and so did he, collapsing hard against the wood, still fighting for air.

The pain of landing on his shoulder and side of his head coursed through his body, making him curl up into fetal position.

"H-Help-" he wheezed, still unable to breathe. When he remembered that it was only him and Hana in the house, the panic worsened. His lungs tightened and the sensation that they were about to explode made his vision go blank and his body fall limp.

•

"Sasuke... Sasuke... Sasuke!!"

Sasuke's eyes shot wide open and he found himself face-to-face with little sleeping pandas.  He lifted his head off the floor, looking around in utter confusion.

Hana was on her knees beside him, staring down at him with concern. Her face looked awfully pale, most likely due to the fact that she thought she had found him dead, until she realised he was breathing. Her hair was soaking wet, sticking to the sides of her face and staining the grey sweatshirt that Sasuke had picked out for her.

Everything felt agonisingly painful. His breath hitched when Hana suddenly pressed the back of her head against his forehead.

"You're burning hot," she frowned, placing her hand on his shoulder, "don't try and stand up just yet. Your parents are on their way. I called them a few minutes ago."

Sasuke clenched his teeth together in pain, his body lightly trembling with his fever. Haha leaned in closer towards him, finding his eyes that had been staring straight ahead.

"Do you remember what happened?" she gently asked, rubbing his shoulder. The touch made his body shudder even more, except it was a different feeling. He didn't recognise it.

"I-" his jaw flexed as he gritted his teeth. He remembered awfully well. "I passed out."

She almost smiled. "Yeah, no shit, but did you feel unwell before that?"