AWAKENED HEART (The first heartbeat)

CHAPTER 41

A smile played in his face as he remembered the past. He remembered his first impression of Zhan, how he was shy, how he smiled and the way his ears heated up when the attention was brought to him during the games they played on the show.

I even made a friend, Wowkie..well..he was the one who contacted you about me asking for your WeChat. (Chuckle) You know...at that time,I had already found a new apartment, the one I have now. I made sure it had everything I need but less security. I wanted it like that cause then people won't think someone as famous as me could live in the place. I didn't live there until I had finally broken up with Sharon. That day...when I first laid my eyes...I knew you had to be mine. I had to make you mine..

I had never felt that way about anyone before and I didn't get confused. That for me was shocking considering that I had never had feelings for a guy before, romantic feelings at that. Weeks and months passed and I still found myself thinking about you."

Wang Yibo brought his hand to Zhan's face, ran his fingers along his jawline before he held Zhan's cheek and rubbed his thumb on his cheek, he smiled and continued.

"All I thought about was your big beautiful eyes, your lips...your long eyelashes that flattered everytime you blinked–.."

Zhan cut his sentence and asked curiously while trying not to loose the softness and warmness he felt against Yibo's hand and said

" Why does it sounds like you mind only had erotic thoughts about me..? The way you're describing your first impression of me...you don't even sound like I'm a man"

Yibo chuckled and said...

"Aren't I being honest about how I felt back then..? Why isn't my honesty appreciated?..huh? Or do you wish for me to stop..?"

"No..sorry,"

Zhan answered quickly with a smile on his face. He was  kind of happy about how what he heard Yibo say about him, in a way...his heart became a little less painful with all that Yibo was saying. Yibo glanced at him and he could see that Zhan's mood was better. He had  forgotten Zhan's smile, how the corners of his eyes curved down when he sincerely smiled. These days at work was the same as home, he hardly smiled and when he did, it didn't even reach his eyed like everyone knew it did. It was like he was smiling only to be polite, and nothing else.

"The rest of the story you know, if you're still not clear about something then you can aske anytime, and I will truthfully answer you. So... dont blame yourself for what happened between me and her. Our relationship was done way before you and I didn't realise, I just found that out when I met you..that's all. "

Zhan looked at Yibo with his big eyes looking right into Yibo's. He hasitated for a minute and Yibo was patient to let him build his words before he spoke. After a minute or so Zhan said in a sad tone...

"I hear you, I'm sorry I behaved the way I did before."

Yibo smiled and held his hand in his and said..

"It's okay, I'm sorry too. But Zhan gē..when are you going to stop being hard on yourself..? Do you know how precious you are..? How beautiful you are..? Can you please stop thinking awful about yourself...? I don't like it when your confidence is trampled and you being the cause of it. "

Zhan looked at their intertwined hands and smiled faintly. He almost wanted to feel confident in every way and everywhere, but there was always something that got him to remember what or how he really was and his spirit would suddenly crambke. A tear fell down his eye but he still kept his smile and he simply answered with an "MN"

Yibo laid him down on the bed and embraced him in his arms. Zhan nestled his head on Yibo's chest and he smiled as he felt Yibo's heartbeat drum right next to his ear. How his chest heaved up and down, his breathing soft and silent like he was trully frozen in the inside just like people had said..