Heterochromia ● a.i

37

(Dylan's P.O.V.)

"Schizophrenia?" I barely get the word out.

"Yes, Miss Carter. We've asked a few people, who are close to you, questions that will inform us whether or not you do - in fact - have schizophrenia. We sent their answers to our questions to an institution where they diagnose mental health disorders," Dr. Berry explains.

"And?" I've been in this hospital for a little over a week and this is what they discover?

"The test results came back positive."

And with those six little words, it felt as though my entire world came crashing down. The wind disappears from the room and my mother covers her mouth. "I - I'm schizophrenic? Wha - how - who did you talk to?"

My doctor pulls out a sheet of paper, "um, your brother, Ashton Irwin, Laith Susher, Aubrey Walters, and your parents."

"What did you ask them? How you do you know?" This can't be happening.

"We asked them if you had delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking and or speech, abnormal motor behavior, negative behavior, lack of ability to function properly, lack of emotion, unable to carry out plans, neglect of personal hygiene, loss of interest in everyday activities, social withdrawal, drop in performance at school, or and irritated or depressed mood. For you to be diagnosed you must have delusions and hallucinations and everyone we spoke with said you did."

"So I'm crazy? Is that what you're telling me?" My voice cracks at the end.

"No, you aren't crazy. You're just mentally unstable. There is a difference."

"Is there a way to cure it?" My mother questions.

Dr. Berry takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry Mrs. Carter, no there is not. We can give her medication to help but it will not cure it. We could have her continue therapy and things like that. We will have to find a psychiatrist who is experienced in treating schizophrenia. They usually guide treatment and determine whether or not the patient - in this case, Dylan - should take medication. But it is a life-long treatment. That's all we can really do."

My mother nods along and I sit there and get my phone from the side table. I blink away the tears in my eyes as I unlock my phone and re-read Ashton's message over and over again. It finally makes sense. "When can I leave?" I ask, looking back out to the room.

"Today, if your mother and you decide on how to treat your mental disorder." He explains.

"I'll go to a psychiatrist. I don't care, I just want to leave," I say while getting out of the bed.

"Dylan, where are you going?" Dr. Berry questions.

"Home. I - I need to leave. I need to process all of this." It feels as though I'm going into panic mode.

That's because you are.

"Stop. Please stop."

No. I hope you realize that you're making the situation worse for yourself. Answering me and all.

"I need you to stop."

"Dylan," my mother says with caution.

You're digging yourself deeper, babe.

"You're the reason I'm schizophrenic. You're the reason I'm crazy!"

"Miss Carter, are you alright."

Yes, Dr. Berry. We're fine.

Dr. Berry reaches for my arm and I snap my arm away, "don't touch me."