15th December

Chapter 21

Adeline

After spending so much time with alex, I have realized how gentle and sweet he is, all this time when he left me the only thing that I thought was he was selfish he was mean he was rude he was arrogant, but living with him, he has made me realize I was totally wrong, I know he was at fault but he does his best to improve his past mistake, we sometimes talk about our past how much we both suffered, before I always thought I was the one suffering but I was wrong, ALEX went through a lot of it as well. Our life together feels very beautiful and sometimes even hot I mean after that night in car I say ALEX is hot as fuck. Whenever we make out, everytime when he whisphers something in my ears and then the way he looks at me its all very hot and steamy and sexy. Today I invited anastasia and her bf for dinner, I told ana everything about james and stuff I mean she is my best friend and she gets me like no one else, at first she was shocked but she told me that it was right decision, she told me that I should not bring this up in front of alex ever, she said its better to keep like this,... she supports me but she said its for the better that I forget it and act like it never happened, I try that but I still get panic attacks because of it, I hide it from alex and everyone, usually alex never leaves me alone so I don't go through it but when times im alone at home it starts haunting me, james lived in the same house I live and then makes me mad, my anxiety reaches at its peak and my chest hurts like hell, I feel so depressed and those waves breakes me inside, I don't know how long this will go, sometime I think about saying alex but I don't have the guts to do it and also ana has told me not to so I avoid conversations on certain topics. Initially when it all happened alex used to ask me everyday if I was fine, I wasn't but I acted like one, because simply I don't want to ruin my relationship with alex over this, I don't want to be deperessed around him, I certainly don't want james to win even when hes dead. The truth is only known by me and it is graved inside my heart nobody will know about it till I wont accept it so I don't need to be worried about it.
Ana and ryan comes for the dinner, we all get along really well, me and ana talk and spent time together while ryan and alex play games and stuff. Alex told while we were going to sleep that his friends from canada his best friends ASHER and ZADEN will be coming to meet him this week, he asked me if I had any problem or would like to meet them or not, obviously I told alex that why would I have any problem and he can call his friends and meet them any time he wants.
Few days later on saturday night, ALEX's friends ASHER and ZADEN comes over. Alex called them straight at home because he wanted them to meet me as well. The minute ASHER enters the house... he greets me instead of firstly greeting alex, it was funny, he comes to me and says "wow so you are ADELINE CASPHER, I can see why my man alex is so mad for you, nice to meet you, adeline. You know alex was so done after he met you he was so in love and the seperation was so hard for him that he would call me and cry all night." he laughs, alex interrupts him and says "stfu you mf" both asher and zaden laugh, then zaden says me hello too. Both of them are two different personalities, asher is a very funny guy whereas zaden is quite and simple. We all have a nice dinner and they both tell me all of things bout alex which otherwise I would have never known, I thank alex for making me meet them, they made me realize even more that how much alex missed me, how much he talked about me. They leave for the hotel, they were going to stay here for a week, so we must be meeting many times, also I want alex to go out with them and have his boys time, he doesn't leave me alone but I want him to give himself some space and have fun so I tell him that I will call ana to stay with me and he can go with his friends.