15th December

Chapter 7

Then

It's the other day, I have been missing him since he's gone and im waiting for his text, he must have reached CANADA by now. I get out of my bed, take shower, and then im down for breakfast . After coming back in my room I check my phone and see their's a text from ALEX, im smiling and cant wait to reply me back.
ALEX: HEY
ME: HI, HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?
I didn't know what else to ask him, but now he's video calling me, im excited, I look myself in my room, set my hair, and then I pick his call, he says "hii" I say "hello", he adds "god I miss you so much already"...i tell him "i miss you too".
Then we talk for an hour or something, I have to say him bye because I hear my mom calling me. So I hung and the minute I hung up he texts me again, its like as if he cant live without me now, and its goes same for me too, ive have realized that I like him more than anything, but im not sure If I want to give my friendship a relationship name too, I reply him back and then I head to my mom, while Im with my mom he keeps texting and calling to me... he says "send me atleast 15 snaps a day", "send me voice messages", "tell me what are you doin".... im surprised by the attention im getting from him but I still am not able to figure out what to do.
Its 2nd feb, me and alex have know each other for 2 months now, even after hes gone to canada, we chat everytime and everyday, we flirt most of the time, he asks me if I love him everyday but I don't reply to him, maybe I don't wanna admit it too soon, maybe I want things to go slow, but im sure that's not what alex whats, he keeps loving me more and more, and I don't even understand that if his feelings are actually true or hes just attracted to me. ALEX told me this afternoon that he has to tell me something important, so im waiting for him to say, he texts me in the evening.
ALEX texts me by saying " I want to tell u something", I reply him, then he starts he says "adeline im sorry but I have a gf here" it broke my heart but I reply to him " so what?" my reply makes him pissed, he later adds "what do you mean by so what"... I reply him" I mean what I mean alex if you have a gf, it has got nothing to do with me" he reply "what? Really...yk what I was just joking with you about this but how can u be so casual about it"..oh no he seems mad, hes again texting, he says " I thought we were a thing adeline","i thought we were serious" I reply to him " when were we serious ALEX" "i never said I love you or something to you" I later add, "i m sure you are just attracted to me its attraction you are mistakeing it for love", "it happens in this age", he replies back "you think its attraction no adeline its not I know I love you", I reply him,''but still alex you are even younger to me, you are in your somphomore year and im in my senior year", and then he says something which flutters my heart and I knew it that hes the right guy, he says "in love age doesn't matter adeline, I love you, im sure about you, I used to overthink a lot before but the time you have come in my life things have changed you make me better". I need time, I tell him "okay and give me somtime I will talk to you".
It's the next day, I havent talked to alex yet, but I know I need to know I text him a "hey". He replies me back within a second then I tell him that I thought about him all the night and I feel like yea I do. I finally tell him "i love you", he seems happy more than he ever has, im happy too but the only thing im scared of now is loosing alex, because I know "once I love, I love harder and deeper than anyone", I knew ALEX has become my weakness now.
We are in relationship , it's a long distance but we hardly care about it, we say I love you to each other literally all day. Last night ALEX told me that he wants to marry me and also he asked me if I wanted kids, this is funny but cute at the same time. Hes the perfect bf I could have , he loves me, he is expressive thou im not I don't know if I will ever be able to tell him how much I love him. I dont know how much it will affect my studies as im very serious about a dead ass rocking career that i wanted for myself, thought i dont think alex would be a disturbance in my life, the only reason i was single all these years of my life was because i didnt want to give other things attention than my career but for the first time alex made me realized that I deserved to be happy and chill for sometime.
Im going back new york now. Its been 2 weeks of us dating. ALEX behaviour has changed a little, its not like he doest love me but his behaviour from last night is different he asked me if he would not be able to give me time so will I leave him, that question pissed me because I don't care if he gives me time or not, what matters is him, he should atleast trust me with that. Im back in NEW YORK, Im preparing for my exams and alex is busy with his on goin exams too.
He barely talks now, but I understand he is busy with his exams..but maybe im ignoring his rude behaviour to me a lot maybe we should talk and sort it out
I text him and try to get to the point but he doesn't talk, it feels like hes parting himself ,hes avoiding me. It hurts me I try to undertsand but I ignore the fact, his exams must be over by now but he hasn't come online.
I text him for next 3 4 days but he wont see my text. Its been a week he havent replied. Im waiting for him, I keep phone aside and Ignore it for hours. I cant sleep at night if I sleep the first thing I do after getting up is I see if he replied to me or not , for this entire week the only thing I hve been doing is waiting for his text. I open my phone and I see theres a text from him. I reply him by asking where he was. He says that he wants to talk something important and then he keeps typing for a min. I have his text now, its long ass paragraph which im scared to read because I feel like I have an idea of whats inside and yes im right it's a breakup text, hes breaking up with, he isnt telling me the reason he says he loves me but he doest have any option I try stopping him but here we are, we are over. IM BLOCKED. Tears are falling from my eyes, my world has shattered within half an hour, im fucked. YES ADELINE, YOU ARE FUCKED,YOU ARE DONE FOR REAL THIS TIME.