The Highs and Lows of Being a Lioness

Part 13 - I miss her

It has now been 2 months 15 days 53 minutes and 17 seconds since i have seen Leah and i miss her far more than i care to admit. Texting her isn't enough anymore i desperately need to see her. It hasn't even been 3 months since we became fucking friends and she's already become my comfort person which sucks because she's so far away. God i wish i played for arsenal. 

It's now March which means the season is coming to an end and I'm working harder than ever in the hope of being noticed by other clubs. Who am i kidding I'm hoping Arsenal will take an interest in me i don't care about the rest. Don't get me wrong i love Less but i'm not scared of leaving anymore, i know that we are sisters for life. The united girls have become family but Arsenal is my dream and i can't stop thinking about it and a certain blonde might be responsible for this.

She doesn't know that Arsenal is my dream, I've always been so tight lipped about who i support in the media because i never want anyone to assume i wouldn't give my all no matter what club i play for and ultimately it's none of their business who i support. My only concern is that Leah won't want me to be at Arsenal, not seeing her really heightens my anxiety about our 'friendship'. I find myself questioning everything. The worst part is that her replies are terrible and i can't help but feel like she just doesn't want to speak to me.

Leah's POV

"no that isn't a good enough reply, i could say- no, mmm yeah this is go- no never mind that's ridiculous" i mumbled as my thumbs trailed across my phones keyboard.

I smacked my phone down

"fuck sake" i sighed. I look up and Beth is leaning against the door frame to our living room. She stares at me momentarily before she sighs too and sits down next to me, handing me a cup of tea.

"spill" beth turned to face me, ready to listen to the inevitable rant that was about to ensue

"what?"

"You're beating up your phone again so something must be going on... so spill"

I sighed heavily before also turning to face her

"It's Ame" 

"Well duh doesn't take a genius to figure that one out"

I smacked her playfully before rolling my eyes and smiling. She has a point Ame has been a common topic among our conversations but that doesn't mean she needs to point it out.

"Ow you bitch. If you are going to treat me like that i will just go awa-" she began to stand up 

I pulled her back onto the sofa being conscious of the tea in her hand and laughed. 

"sorry"

She began laughing too and then turned to face me, allowing me to continue

"I just have this feeling in my chest. It feels like i am being held down by something and it only comes on when i think about her or talk to her"

"So you feel like this all the time again"

I spun my head to look at Beth giving her a disapproving look. She laughed before letting me continue

"I have absolutely no idea why i feel like this because she hasn't done anything wrong, but it makes it so hard to speak to her because it makes me feel physically sick. I feel so bad for ignoring her but i can't get through a single conversation with her without feeling like i'm about to throw up"

Beth looked away momentarily before looking back. She can't hold eye contact like she's internally battling between being honest or letting me figure it out myself, whatever the reason may be.