Radio Active

Section 29

•16:45•

Nadine's small, delicate, bloody hand limply slips off the glass, down to the floor as her whole body is falls limp. Her head falls against the glass, her dark blue, ocean like hair pushed against it.

I shake my head in disbelief, this isn't happening, I've lost her, she's gone. My hand stays in its position on the glass, my heart hopes that she'll come back and place her hand back there, but my head tells me otherwise, that she's dead and I can't do anything about it.

I hear voices behind me, many of them, but, I ignore them. My heart has shattered, and nothing will put it back together, the only thing I loved is gone. She's gone, and I couldn't help her, I didn't save her, I didn't try hard enough.

"Eric, you need to get away from the glass door." I turn around and stare at who just talked to me. It's Jeanine, she stares at me, like I'm some sought of unstable animal, that could blow up in any second. To be honest, she's right to look at me that way, because right now anger is building up inside of me, if she had been quicker Nadine wouldn't be dead. I look back at Nadine and my anger slips away, a wave of sadness edges through me instead taking the angers place. She's really gone.

I stand up suddenly, taking my hand from the glass, walking away from the clear glass door, away from the girl I loved and still love with all my heart. I don't look back. There's Erudite all around me, in white suits that cover them up, it annoys me how they all stand around like nothing has happened.

I move away from them all and start to walk through the maze of pipes and tanks, I begin to feel a little sick and uneasy, but I push those feelings aside as right now I don't flipping care about being in a maze like place. My wife has just died and I didn't save her, I didn't even try to stop her. I feel something grab my shoulder, I roll my eyes not in the mood to talk to anyone. I try to get away from their grip, but they're grip is too strong so I give in. I turn around to see Hugh looking at me, his face is in a unmoving frown, but he doesn't feel the pain like I do, he hasn't lost a part of him. "Don't go into any of the lower levels, your apartment should be okay." I walk away from Hugh, taking his advice in my mind, not wanting to talk to him at all.

There's a few people around, looking extremely cautious but I ignore them and walk past them strongly my chin held high I'm not going to show any weakness to the people around me.

••••••

I reach our apartment (No.45) and turn the key in quickly, I walk in and shut the door behind me checking the corridor to see if anyone is there, there isn't thankfully. I turn and punch the wall hard, I curse under my breath as my knuckles split straight away, but I don't care anymore. I punch the wall over and over again shouting at the top of my lungs. The pain doesn't subside though, it seems to get worse. I stop and slide down to the floor and sob, my cries racking through my whole body, she's gone.

Nadine was the only person in the world I loved and she's gone. My mind travels back to this mornings convocation, about how she may be pregnant, I don't think she was but what happens if she was, I would have lost two people I love instead of one today. I sob even more at the thought, I feel so weak and cowardly, but I don't care.

I think back to the first time I saw her on the roof, she was so small and timid looking in her yellow dress but I thought she was beautiful. I remember the day when she walked into the training room with her long dyed, dark blue hair and wearing her own Dauntless clothes, I couldn't help but stare at her for the rest of the day as she looked amazing. Nadine was the most beautifulest girl I had ever saw in my life, and she still is and will always be. Her dark, deep blue eyes always fascinated me, I couldn't help but stare deeply at her when ever I could have a chance, I'll never have a chance to do that again.