A Court of Shadows and Lightening

Chapter Seventeen

I double the next tincture dose after the arrival of Tavian's letter.
The bitter liquid was too strong to take on its own orally. So I began to mix it into my morning tea.

Nesta is gone for days.
Me and Azriel don't speak as we help the priestesses through another training session. I hate the way I am intune to him, I am aware of every step he takes, every correction he gives.

"How many people have you killed?" Gwyn asks me as she works through her push-ups. I am immediately focused back on the few priestesses in front of me.

She is getting stronger and stronger, the same with Embrie. Both girls watch me as they breeze through the first twenty of the fifty push-ups they do for warm-up.

"Some," I say.

It was in the hundreds. I didn't know the exact number.

Death was death, the kills I made for Helion were easy because I did my research on them before I ended their lives.

They weren't good people.

The harder deaths were one's done out of anger. I found myself wanting to feel guilty for them, to hold some remorse, but I only wished I had made them last longer, been more cruel.

That is something I don't think needs to be shared.

"I don't want to kill people," Gwyn says softly.

"Who said anything about you killing anyone?" I raise my brow and adjust the dangers in my straps.

"Well, Valkyries killed people."

"We don't have to kill anyone to be Valkyries." Embrie looks at her friend before quickly glancing at me. "Right?"

"Like you said before Gwyn," I said nodding to the post which had the ribbon attached. "Cutting that Ribbon makes you a Valkyrie."

I look over to Azriels group of trainees. Each of them worked through the warm-up as well.

I hear Gwyn sigh in relief as she gets up from the ground to begin her squats.

"Killing does not make you a warrior. In fact, the warrior who mentored me said that you only truly become skilled when you've touched an enemy without killing them."

Embrie snorts and quickly covers her mouth, eyes comprehensive, as if she's scared she's offended me.

I smile at her, "He was an egotistical ass, and I quickly learned I was good at killing so it didn't matter anyway."

Gwyn looks shocked at that, looking me up and down.

"You've killed a lot."

I can feel the attention from the others around me at her words. Heat prickles the back of my neck in awareness.

"Some," I repeat, resisting the urge to look around at the priestesses and Azriel.

Instead, I glance over toward the mountains. There's a cold bite in the air now, even my furred leathers struggles to keep the cold at bay.

I liked the cold though, the sting on my cheeks kept me alert. Made me feel alive.

"So wait are you an assassin or a general?" Embrie pipes up again and I give them both a scowl.

"Something tells me I haven't been strict enough with you two," I mutter and they both laugh much to my dismay.

"Twenty more crunches." I snap half-heartedly and the girls groan, flopping back on the ground.

"And both," I sigh stretching out my shoulders. I still trained in the morning without Nesta, though the amount of wine I consumed a few days ago made my body ache still. My tolerance has lessened.