Zane Cyrus is a moody boxer from England. He hates small talk, fake politeness, happiness and most of all he hates it when people can't mind their own business.
Calista-Mae is the epitome of sweet. She cares deeply for those around her and will go...
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CALISTA
I SIT in front of my therapist as she watches me skeptically, her question of "How's Zane?" hanging heavy in the air between us.
I fold my lips at the question and twist my fingers, trying to figure out what I should say.
My mind flicks through the past two weeks and things have been fine with Zane. Even though we kissed I'm sure he doesn't remeber it and we quickly got back into a rhythm without missing a step, it's like nothing ever happened. Which is probably for the best.
It doesn't him from being on my mind though.
"Zane's fine. Why do you ask?" I shrug.
"Just wondering if anything's happened lately."
"Not that I know of." I lie.
If I can convince her that she doesn't see it then maybe it doesn't exist right? If I never saw him and we never kissed then we never crossed any lines? Because I can't be attracted to Zane and I most definitely can't be liking him.
"Have you seen him lately?"
I shake my head, "Not really."
I think she's onto me even though she doesn't say anything more about it. You can never really lie to your therapist can you?
We settle into silence and I end up deep in thought about my life the past few months. I haven't really stopped and thought in depth about my life and the bigger picture of everything in a while.
Four months ago I left my abusive boyfriend. Four months ago I met Zane and Mikey and Morgan who have all become my support system and my closest friends and four months ago I started living my life on my own terms. In these past four months things haven't been easy, I've had a lot of breakdowns and I've struggled to process the things I went through because I never thought I'd ever end up as a victim of domestic abuse, I never thought it would happen to me. I also reluctantly put myself out there on the dating scene a little to soon which quickly revealed itself to be a bad idea.
The thing is I should be focusing on myself right now which I am doing to an extent, I'm doing my yoga, I'm cooking good meals, I've got a good social life and I've got some solid friendships but I also have Zane.
When Zane's around we get on like we've known each other our whole lives, like best friends but then he disappears or pulls away and turns cold on me, sometimes for a few days, sometimes it's weeks. And even though he's one of the most stable people I have ever met emotionally, he becomes slightly unstable every now and again when he disappears. Which is fine, I mean he's a human not a rock he's gonna move and have emotions and it's probably for the best since it stops me from getting so attached to him, which would be easy to do since he practically saved me from an abusive relationship
But it doesn't mean I like it.
I leave the session feeling strange and I practically black out on my journey so I barely remember getting home.
