The Fifth Letter

Epilogue/ the 5th letter

Levi Berkshire:

I return home after everything, the house smells of her, it gives me hope that she's still here. When I know she's not. Tears leave my eyes.

The service was beautiful, just as beautiful as her. She deserved so much more than me.

I glance over at the kitchen table where the letter I've been dreading to read sits-

Letter #5

Dear Levi,

I love you, so much,
I love you to the Moon and stars.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I ruined it, but like you said that's all I'm good at.
Even though you said there was nothing between us, to me, there was.
What I wanted in a husband was someone who truly loves me for me. I wanted someone to laugh with and spend my life with. I wanted to enjoy life with you. Not just live it. And I did, but now if you're reading this. It's ended.
I hope you can forgive me. I forgive you, if that means anything.
I forgive you for saying all those hurtful things. I forgive you for taking me away from my family.
Actually, I never thanked you for doing that. I would have never survived as long as I did with them.

I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise that night on the beach. You probably don't remember but I was really serious about trying to be happy. I tried so hard, maybe too hard.

I want you to know, my dear, none of this is your fault. Not one bit.
I hope you know that, and believe me when I say it's true.

I don't have much else to say, goodbye, my yellow, see you in another life.

(P.s we'll find each other, and live our happily ever after. I promise)

Love, E.B

-sobs leave my mouth as I read the words. I didn't get the chance to explain. I didn't have the opportunity to explain just how much I loved her, and how she made my day brighter just by existing.

Now she's gone, and I won't see her ever again.
I won't get to tell her how beautiful she is.
How wonderful it was knowing her.
How I wish she loved me a little less.
How I wish she knew how much I loved her back.
I'll never get to see her beautiful eyes, and smile again.

I walk over to the window and look out, And as the sun sets, as it always does. It suddenly hit me, Evangelina Miller will never get to see the beauty of the world again.

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Dear, Evangelina Miller-Berkshire

This is so stupid. You'll never get to see these, but it makes me feel better.

You left,

But you never really,

Left.

My sheets still smell of you, but I can't bring myself to wash them, you would yell at me for how gross that is. I wish you still could. I'd allow you to, with a smile of course.

Your soap still sits in my shower, I like so smell it and remember, your coconut and strawberry shampoo reminds me of you.

I wish things were different,

I wish I was different.

I hear you in the lyrics of my favourite songs.

I've started to forget your voice, but I'll never forget your words.

You appear in my dreams as the person you once were, and no longer are.

They could hook me up to a polygraph, and ask if I love you, I could say no, but the needle would jump exactly how you laugh.

I still think of you on your birthday, I'm sorry for everything.

I love you, my beautiful, beautiful girl.
My yellow.

With so much love, Levi Berkshire