The Fifth Letter

004

TW: Self Harm, Body Shaming

Evangelina Miller, 11:58 am, 3 days in the future, the morning of the wedding

"Dear, I promise you look gorgeous!" Mia tries to convince me, Levi wouldn't allow me to wear just a standard white dress, but he didn't let me go dress shopping. So I had to trust him in picking out the right colour, size, and style for my wedding.

Mia forced me to wear my dress in the car to the church and get my makeup done there. It doesn't make sense to me but I don't want to go against Mia's words.

"Levi is already at the chapel, we'll leave at 12:30, and get you ready while they set up the ballroom for your service, that should take us until around 4:45." She smiles at me while adjusting my dress again

I nod, not trusting my voice. She walks out and I start thinking about how just weeks ago I was living at home with my parents, and now I'm getting married to Levi Berkshire. Looking down at the dress I was given I start to feel extremely uncomfortable in it. The corset top is so tight I feel it pushing my stomach into my heart. It feels like I'm suffocating, and I need to get out. The sleeves of the dress fall upon my forearms and the burning sensation begins under my skin again. I jump up and grab my 'perfume bottle' and grab out my razor. As I stare at it I feel more anger towards myself, and I begin cutting. I slash my left arm around 10 times before the burn goes away and is replaced by a new feeling of guilt and sadness. I can never win in this situation, either it hurts because I haven't cut, or it hurts because I have.
I stand up and rush to the bathroom, I apply pressure on my arm and then Vaseline to stop the bleeding. After a while bandaids are placed on my arm and I'm sitting back on my bed.

"C'mon Evangelina we're leaving now, we're almost late!" Chris calls up to me. I collect myself and head down, into their car. We drive for about an hour before we arrive to the chapel. I look down at my phone and see it's 1:30 now which leaves me just about 3 hours to get my hair and makeup done and finalize everything. When I sit down, I see Mary sitting in one of the other chairs getting her makeup done as well. Why is she here? I didn't invite her.

"Mary. What are you doing here?!" I shout approaching her

"What do you mean? You're my best friend after all" she replies snarkily.

"Get out."

"I don't think I will" she shrugs leaning back in her chair

I look over and see my mother smirking at the interaction and I realize my mom probably invited her just to spite me. Rolling my eyes I turn back to the lady holding brushes waiting to do my makeup. I sit down and she begins. She lays down a base with foundation and concealer, as well as a bit of bronzer. Then we start on the eye makeup, she gives me a soft blue eye shadow with a bold black wing. I put soft curls in my hair and finished my everything with a spray of perfume.

When I glanced at the time I realized it was just after 5:00 meaning the service was starting soon.

"Evangelina, it's time!" Mia smiles excitedly

(PLAY LOVER BY TAYLOR SWIFT)

5:16 pm the 'big day'

As the curtains draw back I see the venue, it's drenched in baby blues with green vines hanging around the room. I take a deep breath and walk down the isle, as the music starts playing all eyes are on me. Lily, Levi's little sister is throwing the flowers behind me. She's dressed in a beautiful purple dress, as are all the other 'bridesmaids' Mia invited to act as my friends. As I reach the end of the isle I meet Levi's eyes and he looks astonished.

There's a few moments of silence before the officiator starts;

"Levi Berkshire, do you take Evangelina Miller to be your lawfully wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"