Just Kiss Me - Tom and Bill Kaulitz

Guilt

I was falling. A fall that never ended and around me there was only black.

I found myself in the center of a room, and looking around I found it extremely familiar. I immediately lifted my shirt and saw that I didn't even have a scar left. But how stupid I was. The door swung open, and I've never been so happy to see Bill. I threw myself on him and hugged him very tightly, he reciprocated. Then we parted, and he looked at me strangely with a smile. "Is everything fine?" he asked placing his left hand on my cheek. When I saw it, I took it suddenly and began to touch with my thumb that strange golden circlet she was holding on her finger. "Bill, you... Are you married?" I looked at him shocked.

He looked at me even more strange. "Yes, with you." He replied laughing.

Then he picked me up and threw me on the bed tickling me. I started laughing like crazy, suddenly the door flew open and two children came in screaming. I was scared because I didn't even know who they were. Then I saw Tyler walk in with his hands in his pockets and a huge grin. Suddenly I got out of bed and whispered in his ear. "Who are these two children?" I asked. He burst out laughing. "You're joking, right?" he asked me. But I continued to look at him seriously waiting for his answer.

"You idiot, they are your children: Willy and Isabel."

He then said. I widened my eyes and then touched my belly. They were my children. I turned around and saw that Bill was tickling them both. I looked at him better: he was blond. He had always been beautiful, and that hair made him even more beautiful. I approached them and when Willy turned to me I saw that he had a piercing on his lip. My eyes widened and I cupped his face in my hands. "Who made you do this?" I asked in shock. "Honey, what's up with you today? It was your idea." Bill told me. I kept looking at that piercing, and then someone came to mind.

"Where's Tom?" I asked. The smile everyone had suddenly disappeared. The kids and Tyler walked out of the room leaving Bill and me alone. He got up and walked over to me.

"Mia, Tom died six years ago."

I took his hands off my shoulders and slowly walked away from him. "What the fuck are you saying, it's not true." I told him. "Mia-"
"No! Shut up!" I yelled at him. When I turned around, I was no longer in the room but on a street.

Cars went right through me. I looked around and saw an upside down car. I ran to see if there was anyone left alive. There was no one left in the car, but someone had been thrown out. I never thought I'd feel so much guilt, and it presented itself when I saw Tom's face covered in blood. "You killed me." I heard a voice, his voice. I turned around and saw Tom, he was dressed all in white. "It is your fault that I died." I approached him leaving his bloodied body on the street. "No, I was trying to save you." I said between tears. "I convinced myself I couldn't live without you, and I decided to kill myself. It's all your fault."

He said. I reflected on his words. "Without me?" I said, crying.

"Mia, you are dead."

What was he saying? I start yelling running towards him. I was close enough to touch him, so I reached out my arm, but something sucked me in and suddenly I was seeing black again.

I woke up abruptly. I was all sweaty, my pulse was racing and I was breathing hard. I looked around: I was in a hospital bed. I pulled up my dressing gown and that's when I saw a scar just below my belly button. I got up and ran out of the room. I started running down the hall. At the end, I gave up. He really was gone, and it was all my fault. I lowered my head and began to cry desperately. I had always felt superior and powerful, but in that moment I felt weak, without strength. I felt helpless, and mostly guilty.

I had killed him. He was dead because of me.

I heard something fall and turned to my right. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him. He was at the end of the hallway with his mouth hanging open and his eyes swollen. At his feet were a bottle and a sandwich. I started running towards him even though my belly hurt so much. He too started running towards me. We embraced, and there I felt complete. I had regained my strength, and thanks to him my pain was gone. I put my head into his shoulder and he did the same with mine. "I'm alive, see? You don't need to take a car." I said softly. He broke away. "What are you talking about?" he asked me a little confused.

"Nothing, forget it." I told him. I heard someone yell behind me, and I saw Tyler running towards me. He picked me up and spun me around, when he put me down he told me he missed me. Behind him I saw Bill. I approached and hugged him too. "Miss Torres! What're you doing up?" I heard a doctor scream a little further away from us. We all achieved him together. "I'm glad you're awake, but you also know you have to stay in bed. Have your friends already told you that?" I looked at him still smiling. I turned to the boys, and they all looked down. "No. What?" I asked the doctor. "Miss Torres, perhaps you will not be able to have children." He said.

My smile disappeared suddenly, and I tried to hold back the tears. "Oh... It doesn't matter. Thank you for everything you've done for me." I told the doctor with a shaky voice and a fake smile. After the dream I had, my desire to have a family had grown... And perhaps it would have been a very distant desire for my whole life.

We all went back to my room together. Bill and Tyler started calling everyone and Tom walked into the room with me. I got back into bed and he sat next to me. "Mia...Why did you do that?" he asked me. I sighed, then looked at him. "Because I was convinced that Cole only came back to finish what he started... And I thought if I did, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of killing me once and for all." He saw that I was starting to cry so he got up and got into bed with me. I clung to him, wetting his shirt all over with my tears.

"There are so many people who love you... including me. And I promise you that if he dares to touch you with a single finger, I will kill him with my own hands."

He whispered to me. I lifted my head and gave him a smile. "Thanks Tom... I love you." He too gave me a smile, then gave me a kiss on the forehead.