Midnight Lips | Ghost

𝐂𝐇. 64

𝐕𝐀𝐋
༻❁༺

She was there. Isabella was there and she was blaming me for her death. I knew something was up the moment she stepped into the room and started telling me how I was the reason she killed herself, because she never did blame me in that letter even though she should have. But now she was here, in the room, telling me all over again what that man did to her and how if I would've been there, none of that would've happened to her.

I know, I'm sorry, I was telling her over and over again, shaking my head because I couldn't bear hearing any of it for a second time. The tears in my eyes were too much that all I saw was a blurry Isabella standing at the end of my bed, proud in all her glory with this white aura surrounding her.

When she was done, she put on that beautiful smile that hid her trauma well and turned around to leave, and it's like I traveled to the past, to that night that shook my life on its axis. This time, I knew what would happen if I let her go. She would go into her room and lock herself inside, write that letter for me, and then do what she had been wanting to do for a while: put an end to her suffering.

Now I knew that would be the last time I saw her, so I had to do something to stop it. I could change the outcome, right? But when I tried to get out of my bed to go after her, the bed cover didn't let me. Instead, it started to reduce itself, crushing me and squeezing me underneath, suffocating me until I couldn't move anymore. I was trapped and dying.

Somehow the sheets around me loosened, and I choked on a gasp. Then, I was out of my bed and trying to go into the door Isabella disappeared through. Only this time, there wasn't a door anymore, I was grasping at nothing. I looked around and realized I wasn't in that place anymore, I was somewhere else. Somewhere darker, somewhere more real. Somewhere without Isabella.

That was a dream.
Now this is reality.

I blinked to get used to the darkness surrounding me, panting as if I had just run ten miles without stopping. I was back at base, in Ghost and I's room, standing in front of the wall that was supposed to be the door Isabella walked through. I was supposed to go after her and stop her, change her fate. I was supposed to help her. I was...

God, Isabella.

I couldn't stop the sob coming from my mouth, the sound still made it out through my trembling fingers. I didn't realize my legs had given out until I was collapsing onto the ground and my back was slamming against the wall. The pain in my chest was so much I couldn't swallow the air that was trying to get into my lungs. Why did I suddenly feel so cold? So alone? When I knew someone was keeping me warm in bed?

She looked too real. The dream felt too real. Her words, the place, her face, and tears. God, I hadn't dreamed about her in a very long time. And in those dreams, she never once blamed me. Why now, after I had made peace with the fact that Isabella wasn't coming back? Though she was right, what happened to her, it was all my fault.

My fault.
My fault she is dead.

Arms embraced me just when I needed the hug, the warmth, and the presence to know I wasn't alone. And for a slit second, I thought they belonged to Isabella, but I was only fooling myself further at this point.

"Jesus, Valentina," Ghost's whisper made it to my ears. He hooked one arm under my legs and dragged me onto his lap, then pressed me to him, letting me bury myself in his arms. And it felt as if I could somehow open his chest and crawl inside to get away from this horrible reality, he could make that possible.