Midnight Lips | Ghost

𝐂𝐇. 28

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐀
༻❁༺

     My body was literally in flames. I was so hot from all the laughing I could tell my whole face was red. Rudy and Ale had just dragged Soap out of the room, so I knew I needed some time to calm myself down. But with Simon shifting under me, I couldn't seem to focus.

I met his eyes and smiled at the tenderness I got in return. His eyes were so beautiful I couldn't stop looking. But I caught that other feeling in them that I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out the meaning, like sadness and disappointment that made his special spark blur away.

Simon brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and trailed his fingertip down my neck, making my body tingle. "Where did you learn how to dance that way?"

I looked down to watch my fingers play. "My mother used to dance with me when I was very little."

"That sounds really precious."

"It was," I sighed. It really was, and I missed those moments. So much I wished I could talk about them all of the time. Growing up, I was never the one that talked about her life. I was always the one that listened, that made sure the other half felt heard, felt seen.

However, now with the way Simon was regarding me like he was actually invested in what I had to say but didn't feel like he was pushing me, I felt like I was that other half. I felt seen, heard, I felt brave.

So I said, "I still remember my mom's face as she spins me around the room. The feel of her delicate hands gripping my tiny ones. The most beautiful smile on her face that lighted up the whole place. It feels like it was yesterday. One of my favorite memories, yet... so painful to remember."

"Why is that?" His finger stroked my pulse point, making me look into his eyes. Should I just go ahead and tell him? Tell him what I can't say aloud because it pains me to even think about it? Simon noticed my hesitation and softly shook his head. "You do not have to say anything that you are not comfortable sharing with."

I ignored him. You could say I was uncomfortable, but not because I didn't want to share it. It just hurt to do so. I took a deep breath and let it out. "It wasn't just us."

He blinked confused. "Your... you mean, your father was—"

"My sister." Alcohol. I need more alcohol to get through this. Simon gripped my hips to keep me steady as I leaned across the table to get my third beer. I gulped half of it down, and when I dared to look at Simon, I had to sip some more. He ran his thumb in circles, now and then burying it under my shirt, which made it seem like he was trying to tell me to take my time.

"Her name was Isabella. Chabelita, we used to call her. She was a year younger than me." Oh God, I couldn't believe I was talking about this. It was the first time I talked about her in over three years, and the words that were about to come out of my mouth tasted like sour on my tongue... "She... she took her life three years ago." And it was my fault.

There. I said it. And nothing happened other than this familiar feeling eating me alive after each time I thought about it. I gulped down the rest of my beer because I couldn't take the silence after my words. Did he suspect it was my fault? That my little sister took her life away because of me? Perhaps Simon wanted to ask the reason behind it, but I wasn't sure if I'd get through that.