Claudia Lockwood-Mikaelson

Chapter 39 - Caroline Forbes

My breathing quickens with anxiety as Nik pulls Elena by her arm towards us. Damon frowns but he allows him to bring her wrist up to my mouth. He rubs my back soothingly with his other hand as my shoulders rise and fall with each quick intake of breath. I can do this. I just need to push through for the last time and it will all be over.

Warm blood spills into my mouth and I withdraw immediately. I've drunk blood before but never as a vampire. It's the most pleasurable taste and all I want to do is grab Elena and drink every last drop from her body.

This craving for more must be what Damon was worried about when he spoke of newly turned vampires being unable to finish feeding on their own. When he was worried I'd kill Elena, being unable to stop myself feeding.

But my fear does stop me, it's too intense to ignore. I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, wrapping my arms around Nik for comfort. Just holding the blood in my mouth increases my guilt, fear and dejection tenfold.

I can't do this. It's clear to me that turning isn't going to get rid of my sickness. It's only going to make it worse as I suspected.

Opening my eyes I twist around and spit the blood on the floor at Elijah's feet in front of me. His clean and beautifully polished black shoes become painted with splatters of blood and his jaw drops at me. I'm too upset to laugh at the fact I got him again.

"What is wrong with her? How can she control her blood lust like that?" Damon asks fascinated at the fact I am able to deny myself blood when that's all I've been craving all day. When it's in my mouth and I can taste it's deliciousness coating my tongue. But no one answers him.

"Ten minutes Niklaus," Elijah states, wiping his shoes clean. There's no time for him to be mad at me. I'm going to die soon.

Nik is outraged, his cheeks turning pink with displeasure. "Claudia you promised me you'd try."

"I did and I can't do it. Tell Maeve I'm sorry. And don't be angry, I only have ten minutes left with you."

"No I don't accept that. I can't. You did it last night, why not now?"

"That's because I thought you were rejecting me last night," I say truthfully laying my head on his shoulder and inhaling his scent. "My emotions got the better of me and I regretted it so much afterwards."

Realisation creeps over his expression and he looks at me sternly.

"Claudia I will reject you if you don't feed. You will die knowing your mate hates you for what you put him through and your decision to die. Feeding is the only solution to this," he speaks very harshly.

"That's not going to work," I tell him although the rejection burns me. "I just told you about that, I'm not stupid. You won't reject me."

"That's where you're wrong. I think I'll find myself a beautiful young wolf that will happily turn into a hybrid and will remain by my side always and forever. Someone who loves me enough to commit to me until the end of time seeing as you don't care for me enough to do that."

I scoff at his words pretending they don't cut deeply. He feels my emotions, he knows they hurt. But I know they're not true. He doesn't mean any of the words he says, he knows I love him more than anything. We all know that and that's why his tactics aren't working.

Nik suddenly stands up, practically throwing me to the floor. He towers over me looking down in hatred and revulsion. It seems so real I have to acknowledge it might be. He truly hates me right now for refusing to become a hybrid.

"You're not good enough for me and you never were. I should have cheated on you with Camille like I was tempted to, not just with Caroline. She was a fantastic lay, far better than you."