Unbroken Souls (Spencer Reid x Reader POV)

Chapter 9

Dinner arrived and we had eaten, while Spencer continued to tell me his story (which is not full of sunshine and joy like a child's life should be). He talked about his father leaving him, his mother's health, the bullying, and his own fears about whether or not he could develop schizophrenia like his mother. I listened the whole time, letting him say all he wanted to say and comforting him as we went. At this point we were sitting on the bed of my hotel room, takeout containers still left on the table. We were smiling and cracking small jokes back and forth as I devoured each word he spoke.

"I don't think I've ever been this honest with someone before. You make it feel so natural... thank you for caring, and listening to the scary corners of my thoughts I don't like to think about" he says while nibbling on the trail mix I put out.

"Trust me, I have the dark corners of my mind too. I get it. Thank you for trusting me with this, with you. I'm really happy you felt comfortable enough to share this with me" I said laughing at first but quickly shifting my tone to sincerity.

"Can I ask you something?" he says looking down at my hands which rest in my lap.

"Anything! It's only fair" I giggle. He pauses for a moment before reaching out to extend my left arm gently towards him, his hand cradling mine while he looks at my forearm. I see him searching for words but not knowing where to start or exactly how to ask it. "I was 17. A year before, my sister's body was discovered in a ditch. She was my world, my best friend, the person I told everything to" I took a deep breath before continuing, and I felt Reid squeeze my hand the way I did to him. "I was lost without her. I shut myself in my room, barely talked or ate, slowly wasting away to nothing. My parents fought constantly over what happened to my sister, trying to blame each other. Then my dad asked for a divorce in a heated argument, and my mom was utterly distraught. The next morning, police found her car wrapped around a tree, and she left this world too. I coped by starving, shutting myself away, and eventually found my comfort in pain. It started small but eventually increased. I tried desperately to join my sister, waiting in dark alleys at night hoping to meet the same fate; walking across the road without a care in the world, and saving the sleeping meds the doctors prescribed so I could overdose. My dad found me and I was hospitalized for two weeks. As soon as I got out, my dad was deep into alcoholism and that's when I tried again" I said quietly, looking down at the scar running down my forearm. Reid softly traced the scar with his fingertip, sending warmth and electricity through my arm and body. Something about his touch made me feel so safe and loved, despite only just getting to know him.

"I'm really glad you're here" he said quietly, leaning closer into the space between us. He pulled me gently into a hug, letting his fingers dance with my long hair.

God, I wanted him so bad, and I was starting to think he might want me too. But I couldn't tell if I was thinking this way because he's the first person I've ever really let in like this, thus leaving us both in a vulnerable state that I couldn't in good conscious act on.

I couldn't tell you how long he held me, our bodies sharing heat and space in the most calming way I've ever known. It was only because his phone rang that we broke the embrace, him clearing his throat before excusing himself to answer the call. I could hear it was Hotch checking in on Reid to make sure he was okay, to which he replied he was never better as he looked over at me smiling. They talked a little longer, Reid inquiring about the case and exchanging relief before he hung up the call. The time read 11:50pm when he hung up the phone, looking at me before announcing "they got him, it's over".