Her Peace

Chapter 13

Dejah POV

It's been about a week since Z asked me to be her girlfriend and we haven't talked since, probably because I rejected her.

Z and I are close and we know things about each other from all the time we spend together, but I feel I don't know the real her. I only know the street side of her that she allows me to see, and even that side I feel I barely even know sometimes.

Before I fully commit and attach to her too fast, I want to know the real Z. I know I like Z and want her, but I don't want to fall in love with someone who can still be considered a stranger.

I didn't tell her all of this last week when I rejected her, but she walked off before I even had the chance. I know she was was hurt so I gave her a pass, but I've been trying to reach out and keep getting ignored. I went to the trap the other day to try and see her, but Ray wouldn't even let me in.

Part of me was regretting my answer, but I knew I made the right decision. Z probably thinks I don't even like her, but I want her to know that's not the case at all if she would just fucking let me talk to her.

As if summoning her, I suddenly heard a knock at my window before getting up to go open it, revealing Z. I couldn't even hide my smile as I opened it and let her in.

" Hey honey, " I smiled as we sat on my bed.

" Wassup DJ, " She mumbled as she scratched the back of her neck and I frowned.

" Don't make this awkward, " I sighed.

" My fault I just don't wanna make you uncomfortable," She replied.

" Z you're not, you know I still have feelings for you right ? " I asked as she furrowed her brows.

" But you-"

" No you didn't let me explain my fucking answer, " I cut her off as she grabbed my neck.

" You had a nigga in they feelings, but don't think I'm still not me, " She threatened as I rolled my eyes,

" And that's why I said no, because I don't know you Z ! I don't even know your real name ! " I semi-yelled as she let go of my neck.

" It's Zanya, " She mumbled. "what do you mean tho DJ ? You do know me."

" I know what you allow me to know Z, but I don't know the real you, " I reasoned as she thought for a minute.

" Ight what you wanna know than ? " She sighed.

" Why are you in the streets ? What's your past like... your relationships, family, everything ? " I asked as her eyes got big.

" You askin a lot-"

" I can go first, " I suggested as she hesitated, before agreeing.

" My mom and I moved here yes because she found out my dad was cheating like I told you... but we learned he had a whole family behind our back, for years. The job he had was easy for him to hide his cheating, since he was working for her company. My mom and I found out one day when we surprised him at work and walked in on them fucking. " I started.

"My dad and I were never really close so I try not to dwell or care about it, but I can't even lie it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Why did he have to start a new family, why weren't my mom and I enough for him ? My mom spends all her time working now as a distraction... we used to be so close but now we barely even talk. She shuts me and everybody else out and drowns herself in work now as an outlet instead of talking to somebody like she needs to... she doesn't even check on me either."

" Moving on from my family drama tho... my first girlfriend was this girl named Imani from my sophomore year. She treated me so well, until she met some shorty named Eryn and left me for her. Whenever she got into it with Eryn she would text me and we'd link, but as soon as they got back cool she ghosted me. We loved each other, but she made me feel insecure and as if I wasn't good enough since she always went back to Eryn."