The Fall

Chapter 33

Sage, 1 week later

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

My body ached from the tension in every bone and muscle as I sat outside Dr. Lawrence office. My legs pulled up to my chest as I made myself as small as possible. My parents were meeting with the doc to talk about whether I'm ready to come home or not.

Please let them say yes. I can't stay here with Holden and the twins everywhere I go, watching me, waiting to attack me again. I've barely been sleeping and thank god for concealer because I've spent more nights awake or hiding in my closet or under my bed after Presley hinted they had access to our room.

I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood and tried to practice my breathing technique for my anxiety but every time the sounds of footsteps drew closer from both directions of the hallway, my heart rate skyrocketed. "Please, please, please," I mumbled over and over until the door to the office opened and Lo's head poked out. "Sage, we're ready for you."

I sighed and pushed myself up, hoping I wasn't shaking too badly as I walked into the office. My parents sat on opposite ends of the couch facing Lo's desk, both with hopefully cautious expressions on their faces. Oh God, was I not getting out of here? "It's alright, Sage. Have a seat." I sat between them and crossed my legs with my hands clasped in my lap.

"So Sage, this week marks the end of your in treatment plan as we discussed while you were at Lakeside." Her blue eyes are unreadable, not probing through my psyche like usual and this made me nervous. If I stayed here another week or month, I won't survive. As is, I'm barely sleeping. Most days I can't keep food down, let alone my meds.

Snapping myself back into the conversation at hand, I lifted my gaze to the doc, "So what happens now?" I rasped, my own voice sounding foreign to me. Every night for the last week I'd been going to bed early, knowing Lindsey was a night owl and tended to bed hop which allowed me time to scream into my pillow until my voice gave out. It was either that or find a way to break into the infirmary for drugs. Yes, I was slipping. But I wanted to forget. I wanted to erase every horrible thing that's happened to me in the last decade.

Mom curls her neatly manicured hand around mine and I shift my eyes to her gray eyes, the blue in them more prominent today. "Honey, your father and I would like you to come home, but Dr. Lawrence has some recent concerns that she's expressed and we just want to make sure you're healthy enough to return home."

I don't get it. They'd already done a home visit, which Kyle assured me on our call that all the alcohol was removed and they'd completely swept through every inch of the house since my overdose for drugs. I was cleared on that front. Maybe the psych evaluation found I wasn't mentally ready to go home, but I thought I smiled enough, seemed deep in thought enough, I even agreed to added outpatient therapy than originally discussed.

"I'm not sure what recent issues she's concerned with." I cleared my throat and looked back to Lo, who's brows were furrowed, her gaze slicing through me. "I've been working hard the last few weeks and I'm discovering things about myself as I've gone on." It's not a complete lie. I've discovered I'm a victim for life. I will always be that girl that was raped, not once, but twice.

"I see that, but I've also noticed that you seem to be regressing and that's concerning this close to you going home." Lo stated with a practiced detachment, like we hadn't been picking apart the inner workings of my mind the last few weeks. Her blue eyes held concern and dare I say it, understanding?

My dad put a hand on my knee and squeezed gently and I hoped he didn't notice the shaking, "Sweetheart, we want what's best for you and Dr. Lawrence has been diligent about your treatment, which she told has been progressing until recently." Right. When I was raped by two guys and a girl. If I told Lindsey that, she'd probably come up with a T-shirt design, you know, after she commits murder.