Flower shop | tk

22. Taehyung

(I suggest listening to David Kushner while reading this. He was on repeat as I wrote it and it absolutely fit the mood. I love the album Footprints I found and the song Daylight. Also, I absolutely recommend him in general. He is absolutely amazing<3 Great for the anxious mood.)

17.02.2018

After leaving the café, Jeongguk pulled me to the library. The library out of all places. It was the place we used to hang out, where no one would disturb us, but in the moment, it did not feel like a safe space.

I had a bad feeling about the conversation we were going to have. Luckily, the library was not exactly quiet since many students were studying for finals, which, by the way,I should have probably been doing as well.

Jeongguk did not let go of my hand the whole way from the café to the library on the other side of campus, and I had caught some staring, so my head was hanging low, wanting to attract as little attention as possible.

We finally reached a corner where no students were sitting and we were pretty much barricaded from the rest of the world. In that moment, where he was standing tall in front of me, practically pinning me to the wall, I wanted to kiss him so bad. Or him to kiss me.

He had not yet let go of my hand nor did I want him too. His eyes met mine and gosh, no words could describe how much I wanted to let myself drown in the beautiful orbs, staring so intensely at me.

It seemed like every time we looked at each other, no one dared to speak, and although I was unsure of his reason, I knew mine was that I was scared I would say something stupid or end up breaking down because I knew I could never have him.

Only the thought shattered my heart and my eyes faltered, my gaze falling to the ground. "What...what do you want to talk about?" I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I was too terrified to look up.

Terrified of what would happen if I looked up and met his wondering eyes. So I kept my eyes glued to the ground as I awaited his answer.

"Okay, let's start with why you're avoiding me." His voice was almost as low as a whisper, probably so he wouldn't risk anyone listening in on our conversation. "I-I'm not.." He chuckled shortly.

"Right. Cut the crap, Tae. You have been ignoring and avoiding me all goddamn week. Can't you just tell me what's bothering you?" I gulped, before raising my head and looking straight into his eyes, although my eyes quickly flickered towards something behind him.

"I promise, I'm not. I've...I've been busy, that's all." I shrugged, taking a small step backwards, even though the wall stopped me from going further and his towering figure suddenly made me feel trapped.

I wanted to leave. Because being so close to him, his face mere inches away, yet he felt so far away and he was just out of reach from me. I couldn't take it. The piercing pain. My stomach was twisting and my heart was beating so fast.

However, this time it had nothing to do with the butterflies and the warmth spreading through my body every time he was near or speaking to me. It was excruciating and painful and hurtful and I wanted to leave.

"Does it have anything to do with my date with Ha-eun?" My eyes widened and without being able to stop it, I let out a fairly loud 'no!'. He looked startled and so was I.

I felt heat spread across my face and ears as people turned towards us and a loud 'hush!' was heard. Jeongguk turned around and apologised to everyone and soon, they had all gone back to their own business and he faced me again.