MINION
As the doors closed behind the terrified architect, Doctor Doomsday let out a long, slow sigh. He ran a metallic hand through his hair and turned to leave, before changing his mind and sitting next to me in the Fortress of Doomitude's lobby.
"Bradley... am I a bad person?" He asked, resting his chin in his hands.
"Um ....yes?"
I ran the question through my mind a few times, trying to uncover a deeper meaning or a trick. If there was, I couldn't find it anywhere. I glanced back at Dr Doomsday and noticed a single tear forming in one eye.
"I mean, you're not bad to me or the other men." I quickly added. "You've given us all steady employment, good pay, great benefits, and you care about us. Heck, you made a prosthetic leg for Bert's kid after her accident!" I left out the fact that she had lost the leg during one of his fights with his arch-nemesis hero, WalkMan, but that wasn't really relevant.
"I'm doing what I do here for the greater good." Doctor Doomsday said, slumping into the ornate yet comfortable skull bench. It was another of the Doctor's designs, combining an orthopedic office seat with a flourish of villainy. "I don't want to destroy the world permanently, just enough to cut out the bad parts and re-build the good."
"Of course, boss" I chipped in. "And you've done so much good already! Just look at that wellness clinic you opened, it's a hit!"
Doctor Doomsday rested his head in his metallic hands and sighed. "That is part of my master plan."
"Boss, it doesn't matter. It's helped so many people since it opened, none of them would care if they knew it was just part of your grand plan." I walked to the Doctor and put a hand on his cold cyborg shoulder. "Are you going to keep the clinic open after you win?"
Doctor Doomsday looked up at me, tears flowing freely from both eyes now. "Yes." He replied weakly, and sniffled.
"See! That's generous as hell, Doc." I said, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before remembering it was more machine than shoulder.
He sniffled again. "I suppose. I'm just worried about how people really see me, you know?"
"Well, maybe we can take a look at our branding." I said, trying my best to comfort Doctor Doomsday as he sat on his skull chair. "Re-create our image, you know?"
"Maybe." Doctor Doomsday looked up at me again, and smiled faintly. "You know what, yes, let's do that." He stood suddenly, sweeping his lab coat behind him with a grand gesture.
I smiled. My boss was back in his usual groove.
"I'm putting you in charge of this venture. Kidnap a public relations expert and form a department. I'll inform Brenda, she'll need to put together a budget." Doctor Doomsday glanced at me and smiled, without the malicious gleam his smiles usual contained. "Brad, thank you. For being a friend."
"You're welcome, buddy." I replied, guessing that he needed that more than 'boss' at the moment. "One thing, should we hire a PR guy instead of kidnap? Might start us on the wrong foot by kidnapping someone to improve our image."
Doctor Doomsday stroked his goatee with one robotic arm as he considered my alteration of his plan. "Good idea. Get estimates first, though. And speak to Brenda, see how much she can budget for a hired position versus room, board and salary for one involuntary recruit."
"Yessir, boss" I replied, firing off a quick salute and leaving the Doomfort's lobby.
Doing PR for the Doomsday Corporation may prove to be my hardest assignment yet. It was definitely going to be harder than building that load-bearing lava pit under the shark tank in his home.
