Kisses & Contracts || LGBTQ

Chapter 6: You're my best friend

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Cameron: can we go to the lounge again tonight

Milo stares at the text as he wakes himself up Wednesday morning.

That's fair. Milo left extremely abruptly without giving Cameron any explanation as to why. He's doing a great job of this whole calm and collected thing.

Milo: we can meet tonight

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"You want to explain what that was last night?" Cameron's upset.

Milo can't blame him. "Let me get a drink first." He goes to the bar and comes back to the booth with both their usuals, handing Cameron his. "I'm sure it was confusing. I'm sorry."

"Yes," Cameron agrees, words biting, "it was. So why did you leave like that?"

Milo takes a long sip of his drink. "What do you know about headspaces?"

Cameron makes a face. "Are you changing the topic?"

"I am not," Milo winces.

Cameron stares at him. Then answers the question, "You've explained it to me briefly before. That with the right circumstances in a scene, someone can...what was the word?"

"Slip."

"Right. I don't know if I could describe it the way you did."

Milo purses his lips, fiddling with his glass. "It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't felt it. I've heard some people call it a high. I guess that's the closest thing, but it's without consuming anything to get there. There can be certain triggers for someone that cause a slip." He groans, dropping his face into a hand. "I don't want you to think it removes control. Subspace is more of a freefall. Domspace isn't quite the same thing, but I find it to be a helpful term sometimes. I definitely...find myself in a certain mindset when I dom and I think of domspace as like the perfect alignment of focus for the task at hand. And certain things help get me there faster."

Cameron's listening carefully, but he's clearly confused. "I don't understand why we're talking about this right now."

Milo drops his head back against the booth and closes his eyes. "You whined."

"What?"

"Last night, when I got off the couch, you made this little whimper-y noise."

"So?"

Milo opens his eyes again and looks at Cameron meaningfully.

It doesn't click initially but he can see the moment Cameron connects the dots. "And it...triggered your domspace?"

Milo swallows. "Sort of. Yes."

"So you left."

"Yes."

"Were you...scared you'd do something you shouldn't have?"

"No!" Milo's eyes go wide. "No, nothing like that. I'm..." He trails off, trying to figure out how to explain. "Ever since we've started talking about this, I've been thinking about...what it would take to coax you into a scene. Like after we've established a contract. I couldn't help wondering what it would look like, the transition between what we are now to what we would be in a scene. And there have been all these little moments where I know what I would say to you if it were a scene. But it's not, so I didn't. I was too tempted to say something that I shouldn't have said just yet. I think being so close to you, I don't have as firm boundaries as I would with someone newer to me. I know where so many of your buttons are and the idea that you want me to push them..."