10. A dangerous thing

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Song: Hope is a dangerous thing

3/02/22

    Landon's party is a waste of time and energy. But even I can appreciate that it made me forget for a moment. For the first time he wasn't at the same place I was. I don't know what happened to him or where he went but I know that he wasn't at the corners watching me and he wasn't micromanaging me. I could finally be Avery. The normal Avery.

  Mum and I celebrated dad's death anniversary today. It was far easier than the previous years have been but I found myself wondering if I would have been in this situation if daddy were alive. If they never moved to America, if they stayed in China. Would I still be the same weak Avery? Malleable, insecure and lost Avery, living her life dependent on all the wrong people because the right ones never seemed to care enough?

   Would I even be Avery? Or Ava.

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