always & forever

48 | „is there a future of us?"

GAVIS POV

when amara grabbed my hand at the beach while calling pedri , i had a feeling which i would describe ... safe? like , less sad . she truly is my light .

then we stood up and she was about to let go of my hand , but i needed that support from her and only her right now .

„pablo! ¿estàs bien?"
-> are you okay?

i could only shake my head and pedri hugged me . i only wrapped one hand around my best friend , not wanting to let go off her hand .

when pedro noticed our hands he smiled and then hugged amara too .

„pablo is staying at mine , he doesn't want to be there were he found out . only for tonight right? or longer?"

i want to stay with you forever my love .

„only tonight"

she nodded and pressed my hand .

when we arrived at her house i got out of the car , feeling empty without her touch .

„amor!"

amara turned back to pedri and he told her something which she only nodded too , before they said goodbye .

amara handed me some clothes , probably from one of her friends , and i changed in her room , while she went into the bathroom to get ready for bed aswell .

when she came out of the bathroom , i was already laying on the bed and she smiled when she saw i didn't leave .

„hermosa?"

„hm?"

she turned around to face me and even if it was dark , i could still see what her beautiful face looks like .

„how did you find me?"

„pedri had called me at ... 10pm or something? and then an hour later he already gave up , but i didn't . then i remembered where you took me to our first date .... basically all of our dates happened at that place"

i could see her smile when she thought about it and it made me go crazy .

„when you found me ... and i asked you how you felt about me ... i'm sorry for asking that"

i really was .

„don't be , i understand why you feel like this . well ... i actually don't , but yeah"

i chuckled .

„do you want to understand?"

„if you want to tell me then yes , yes i want to"

„these last days ... we had so many .. how do i say this? situations where we needed each other and needed to rely on each other . i don't know how you feel about me because maybe ... maybe it could be that you don't like me and you only .. i don't know ... feel sorry for me?"

„i get what you mean with those situations , but pablo i didn't do all this only because i feel sorry for you , i did feel sorry for you , but it wasn't only that . do you think i'd let everyone that shows up drunk sleep in my bed? do you think i would stay with all the persons that are sick , taking the risk to get sick too? do you think i'd hug any man after one touched me? i actually would let no one touch me , but with you ... it's different , i feel different with you . you make me feel safe pablo . i don't know if those situations were a „i need to do this because no one else does" situations for you because i seriously thought you hate me after that speech you gave me"

„do you still think so?"

„you're asking so difficult questions pablo . but no , i don't think this anymore . only at the beginning"

„well , do you think we could ever ... be friends? or what are we going to be in the future? is there a future of us? are you only my „hero" when i need you?"

she stayed silent for a minute and i could basically see her brain thinking . i don't want her to be my friend , i want her to be mine , but if „friends" is what she wants to be , i can live with that if it means i get to see her .

„do you want me to be honest with you?"

„i always want you to be honest with me hermosa"

„honestly , i don't think i can ever be just friends with you . it's just ... how do i express it? it doesn't feel right . i definitely don't want us to have only those situations where we rely on each other . i want a future with you in it pablo , that's what i'm sure of . i just don't know what to feel right now , everything has been so stressful and exhausting lately , i barely had time to think about my feelings and ... i seriously don't know pablo . i only know that i don't want you to leave"

she fumbles with a bracelet on her arm and i noticed that it was mine .

she doesn't want me to leave .

„do you want me to give you space to think? like , not talk to each other for a few days?"

„no , definitely not . i don't know what i want . well , i do know who i want , but that's- oh"

she stopped in the middle of her sentence , realizing what she just said .

„do you want to tell me what person you want hermosa?"

„no.. not today pablo"

she sighed and closed her eyes . after a while her breathing got steady and did my „habit" slowly grabbing her wrist and leaving a kiss on her tattoo .

„thank you my love"

her voice was a faint whisper , but i heard her .

„always"

then her eyes opened and she looked at me , then at my chest and then into my eyes and i opened my arms where she instantly got comfortable in .

being the luckiest person alive , i got to hide my face in her hair , my favorite place to be .

i think amara was far asleep but about 10 minutes after she talked for the last time , her arms wrapped around me and she snuggled closer to me . i held her tightly and every time i lay here with her since she came back , i think about how it could be the last time . what if we don't get these moments ever again?

thinking about her and my abuelita , i drifted off to sleep , knowing that if she wouldn't have been here in my arms , i would've cried the whole night .

end of chapter 48 🫶🏼

deep talks from gavi and amara are my fav thing to write .

i love you all

aleyna