AWAKENED HEART (The first heartbeat)

CHAPTER 23

About thirty minutes later, Zhan went over to where Yibo was and called his name. It was clear that Yibo was hurt from all that and that he just wanted to distance himself from Zhan and maybe...as he thought...he might not be in that kind of pain or he wouldn't shout at him. Zhan hung his arm around Yibo's shoulder and avoided his gaze, he wanted to apologize but he didn't know how to say it without sounding so flirty, cheesy and so obvious. There wasn't any way other than to apologize sincerely like he was just talking to his little brother. That...that was it for Yibo, he knew what Zhan was trying to do in all his efforts and that he didn't want others to know about them but...he still got mad.

"Wang Yibo...I'm sorry ok...I shouldn't have shouted at you. I was wrong and I should've never spoke like that. I mean...you were just worried about Zhan gē and I spilled your efforts. I'm sorry ok..?"

Yibo kept quite just so that they didn't make a scene in a way the everyone would start questioning their words and actions. He became angry at how Zhan addressed himself like that as he apologized. He was reading his script before Zhan came and he continued without care that Zhan was standing right besides him. But Zhan tried again as he felt like it wasn't like Yibo who would not respond. He tried to find fault in what he said and he remembered that Yibo hated it when Zhan made him sound too young to him. And when Zhan tried to apologize again he just answered so that Zhan would stop talking before he cracks. He thought again about what Zhan had said to him as he remembered what he said before he broke the news. "Yibo...there's something I need to tell you..."

"Lao Wang...I'm sorry ok...please don't be angry at my stupidity. I said it without thinking. Please talk to me will you...? Come on...say something..."

"It's ok Zhan gē, I'm not mad, I'm just fine. Let's just forget about it."

Zhan knew he messed up big time but there was nothing he could do right infront of other people. What Zhan had said made him question a lot if things between him and Zhan. He didn't know how to handle the situation and he remembered that Zhan had asked him not to speak of it again and that he was the first person he ever told, that no one knew and nit even his friends. So...Yibo was the only one who knew about it and that out a lot of pressure in Yibo considering what they did before Zhan broke the news to him. A lot of things were going in in his mind and he was readable to Zhan as he knew he saw Yibo's reaction right after he told him the night before.

The shooting wrapped up and as they had already packed their bags, they decided to just freshen up before they left. Two hours later both Zhan and Yibo were standing in the kitchen waiting to be called so their could go. Yibo stood there looking at his phone and didn't speak to Zhan. This made Zhan feel bad and used, he remembered what Yibo had said to him the previous night and he got confused at to why Yibo was acting the way he was
He knew Yibo would never stay mad at him for too long but it had been a few hours since he last spoke to him and he... kind of accepted his apology. He decided to keep quite and nit say anything at that time. What he had said was quite big...he knew that and he didn't understand why Yibo was making a big deal out if it because it wasn't even about him.

In his mind at the time he thought that Yibo had changed the way he felt about him after hearing what he had told him. He felt used...abandoned by the one he wanted to give his whole heart to. He then regreted ever telling him about himself, he had been quite and kept his secret for such a long time that even his first love whom he had loved with all his heart didn't know about it. Suddenly he opens up to the one who gave life to his heart again after so many years and yet again...he was being left behind...all alone ...again. He hated that feeling and he didn't know when he started crying until he felt fingers on his cheek wiping away they tears that were falling down his cheek.

"Zhan gē... why are you crying...? I said I'm fine then why are you like this. Come on...stop crying ok...?"

"Yibo..(sniff) are you avoiding me because of what I have told you last night...?"