Love or not 3 - What is love?

Part 10 - Dreams

Y/n's POV

I stood up. Draco wasn't laying by my side anymore. I suppose he's down to breakfast. I had a strange feeling. I just didn't know what it was for a feeling. I didn't even know if it was a good og bad feeling. I began to walk down to breakfast. I walked in and people was talking. No. They we're whispering. Then some looked up and there was quiet. I looked at the professors table, even there was there silence. And every single professor was there. I saw Draco standing with the Gryffindor's table. Side by side with Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle. They stood with every Gryffindor at my year. But they didn't look like they were hating on each other. More like they was talking like friends. What? No, how? Then they saw me and did so I also could have a place in the cirkle of people. Hermione stood in the middle, she gave me a side eye.

"Erh...hey" I said "what's going on?"

"Nothing you need to know" Ron said and rolled his eyes.

"Why?" I asked "why mustn't I..."

"Can't you shut up" Hermione said "no one likes you anyway"

"What...?" I said. What the hell was going on.

"Don't look that dumb" Draco said.

"I don't...I don't quiet understand..." I said but then saw Draco's hand. He was holding hands with Pansy "after all we have been through?" I said quietly.

"Just go away" Blaise said really irritating.

"But...but..." I said shaking.

"But...but..." Draco said Annoyed "BUT WHAT?"

"But we're friends..." I tried to say.

"But we're friends" Hermione said and rolled her eyes "we have used you. Can't you see?" Everyone in the Great hall (except the teachers) laughed at me.

"Go kill yourself. This time for real" Lavender said.

I looked up at dad, but he did show a single emotion.

"Fine!" I said "I'm going to..." My voice cracked and tears began to fall down my cheeks.

There is no light right now, the darkness are here still. The moon is up the sun is down. I ran. What if it all just a prank. What if dad have casted a spell over me and just wanted everyone to do so they could see if it worked. He would NEVER do something like that like not doing anything if it wasn't...or would he? Maybe Draco would feel bad and catch me. He would! Right? People will probably stand behind as I'm jumping, they would feel bad. Cry and beg me to stay. No. I'm so fucking selfish. That's probably why they want me to die. That's probably why I'm so fucking irritating. Why everyone have used me. Or what? No. It MUST be a prank. They would NEVER. I won't let this be for real. I stood at the sealing. No one was behind me as before. No one tried to stop me this time. I jumped. I felt myself fly though the air. It was cold but comfy. How? I don't know. Then I felt something hurt and then all pain flew out of me. I myself flew with it. Up in the air. What was this spell? I felt so light. I felt like nothing. Then I knew it. I was dead. But...but I couldn't be. I saw down on the ground. My body laied there. It didn't look good. I saw people running over to it. I couldn't see there face's. I think they might be sad and full of pain. Right? I saw dad coming over to my body. But then he. He. HE SPIT ON MY BODY. Then everyone else did, they spit and punched and jumped all over my body. I wasn't loved...I...I....

I woke up. I was sweaty. I felt my heart beating really fast. I felt alive. I WAS ALIVE. It was just a dream. But I wanted some fresh air. I looked at the watch on a wall in the dorm. It was 4am. I have only been sleeping in 2 hours. I began walking towards the door. I still had the feeling from my dream. I had only had it a few times before. And one of the times was...the bogart. It made me feel like that. It was screams, pain and how to be unloved. Was that my fear? Not to be loved and to loose. What was worst? I don't know.

"Princess?" Draco's voice said, he walked over to me "where you going?"

"Out to get some fresh air" I said shortly.

"At 4am?" Draco said suspicious.

"I...I had a...a nightmare" I sighed.

"Oh, what to have me going with you?"

"Yeah, that could be very nice" I said.

We walked out and I began to tell him about my dream. But I didn't say one detail. The one that he and Pansy was holding hands. Why? Because I didn't wanted him to see my other side. I'm not strong when I loose people. Even if they are alive but I have lost them to another person. That's another side of the story. There's to many sides. And I don't think I can find a single one who's good. But does it matter? I don't know. But I hope I'm going to find out.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
This is a new way for me to write on, so hope you liked it.

Remember to vote and comment ❤️

Sorry for grammatical fails