BioHazard

Chapter 3

That's basically what I do every single morning.

Pretty plain and on repeat.

Feels like that for me anyway.

The Only thing that changes each day is the person who is last up... Grim, very grim.

This world is screwed up, But probably was since the 21st century, Actually that's a lie, It was always screwed up, screwed by humans, Humans, Yes I know I am one, Don't give a crap about that, Still hate them, I sometimes hate myself sometimes, if I did something terrible.

You know what one thing I hate is?

Being blamed for something you didn't do.

All that guilt for something you didn't even do. Well screw you too A-holes.

Let's say I'm in a small fight, and I'm blamed when I was attacked, And I was doing self defense. The hell, I'd be so sad, and maybe angry, but mostly depressed being blamed for something I didn't do, or doing something to a reaction to being attacked first, But I'm a pacifist, Or like to think so, If I was really ticked off I'd maybe throw a punch and run, But It's self defense.

This example is way too specific. All I am saying is that I'd be sad, and want to disappear in a rock and wish to become a ghost. Not to be seen again.

Now I am really sad at the thought of that.

If it happened to anyone, You have my full sympathetic feelings. If it happened to me I'd feel like I'm in a deep hole trying to climb out, while dirt is trying to push you down. And you keep going deeper, and deeper, darker, and darker.

I chew on an apple I had on the paper plate.

I took a deep breath as I started to actually eat, because I only ate a third of a pancake, and drank a quarter of the water.

I Stretch my hands through my dark hair, feeling the dry dirty hair as well as the dark hood covering my horrific of a appearance.

So hell i'm insecure about my looks, why the hell would I wear a hood? Because I was cold? Or thought I was cool? No because I am damn ugly and wish I could disappear into oblivion, and not be seen again.

But people have to deal with it.

And My Purple eyes! Way too different, and I saw nobody else with any such eyecolor, So hell I'm insecure with that too.

Unkempt hair, a damn ugly face, and Weird eye color.

But that doesn't mean I need to be reminded, Keep those to yourselves. Idiots.

I Lost my appetite now.

I wonder why. (Sarcastically I wonder)

Probably because I am in a very deep emotional hole of sadness and insecurities.

I bit my lip, as I lifted my arm to see the watch.

15 minutes until the next place.

A class about something normal, But damn it is painful to hear it over, and over and over.

Honestly the most useless thing in my life.

Math Class.

Yeah we actually do that here, Honestly I am shocked we do, Like we are in a crap of a world, and We Are learning MATH.

Like it was useless before this world went to a crap hole, But now even more so.

Shouldn't we learn about all those bio-weapons and how to kill them?

Oh wait I forgot its a scheme for control and the government is giving Crap information not even remotely true.

I bit my lip, and looked around the cafeteria, People eating in silence.

That was the rule, silence.

They do that because they don't want friendships building.

Friendships equals strength, (Do they though? Because if you care for people, your enemy will use that against you, my heart is protected because I have nobody To care for, and not one enemy.) and strength equals revolt, refusal, and could really screw the people in charge of this place.

I am really in my own head, damn that happens way too often.

I sighed, as I put my head on the table, hood covering my face of course, and Watched as the clock on the wall went tic, tok, tic, tok, over and over.

Math was next. Great.

...

About 15 minutes later, everyone was called for the next class which was math.

I honestly felt like shit today, Just overthinking, alone. Although I like being alone, sometimes you gotta connect, But hell I don't care.

I took out a small knife from the breakfast, and slowly cut my right hand.

I did this when I felt like my world was heading towards a downward spiral.

But it usually is, so I guess that's not true.

The blood gushed out, faster than I thought, but I didn't care.

Nobody asked why I did, If they did I'd just flip them off because I don't like anyone. Let alone be friends with anyone.

I looked at my bloody hand, as I clenched it into a fist, as the blood covered my whole hand.

I then freed my hand, seeing it smeared in blood, and still bleeding.

My eyes get dilated for some reason when i did this, or excited, don't know why though

I have no regrets about this. I do this on a weekly basis.

I see the other scars from the previous knives I've used in the past.

I've only just started doing this 6 months ago.

So about 20 times i've cut myself.

It was only my hands I cut, mostly right, but occasionally left.

I followed everyone else to the next place, Math class and all, Screw everything honestly.

I am insecure, born in hell, and inflict self pain. Yep, that's me.