44. Piano

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The ride back to the palace passed quickly as I gave Alvaro a friendly interrogation. I learned that his parents had passed away so it was just him and his sister. She lived in France with her husband. Alvaro was married to his job, stating that he didn't have time for love. He also admitted that at first he was disappointed with the assignment to my security but he had come to see it as a great opportunity.

My mother was waiting for me at the front door.

She hugged me tightly. "How is Charles?"

"He's doing well, heading to Italy for some testing ahead of the next race." I walked into the palace with her. "And then in a couple days, I'm heading out to meet him."

"We won't see much of you until the season ends," she observed.

"After the next race, there's not much left to the season and with the championship so close, I really want to be there for him." I started to crack my knuckles.

My mother put her hand over mine, stopping me. "Kat, you only do that when you're nervous. What's going on?"

I sighed. "Even though there was a crash, I don't want him to stop racing. I never want him to lose that. But it really made me realize how dangerous it was and how quickly it could all end. So I need to be there for these last races if only just for my own sanity. If something were to happen and I wasn't there, I don't know how I could live with myself."

My mother patted my hand, still covering it. "I understand, I'm not upset with you at all. I'm happy that he's in your life."
I smiled slightly at her and nodded. "I think I'm going to play piano for a bit before I go talk to my father."

"You're playing piano again? Is everything ok?" she asked, stopping and tilting her head at me.

I shrugged. "I don't know, maybe? I've been feeling a lot of things and it's the only healthy way out for them that I ever had really."

"It is a healthy way to deal with it all but don't turn it into an unhealthy one," my mother said quietly, like she almost didn't want me to hear even though it was aimed at me.

"I know maman, I'm just going now because Charles was making a song the other day and I think I could add to it."

I left my mother in the hallway as I made my way to the piano room. It had always been one of my favorite rooms in the house to spend time in, even if I wasn't always playing piano in there. Most of the time I had spent there recently had been empty of playing. The last time I had genuinely played, I was so full of anger and pain and too many different emotions that  I just hadn't been able to play since without delving back into them. I was extremely happy being with Charles, but it had taken time to reach me wanting to change my music, changing the tune if you will.

I sat on the piano bench, hands resting lightly on the keys. My mind was completely blank. I had planned on continuing the song that Charles had been working on but it just wasn't coming to me. I needed to play for myself, no one else. I stumbled through a few notes. I shook my hands and shrugged my shoulders, I laid my hands back on the keys and took a deep breath. Make how you feel into the music, not the music into how you feel was a statement that my childhood piano instructor had repeated many times. I focused on those words as I began to play.

My hands danced across the keys. Images of the cliff hike crossed my mind as I started out pensive and slow before building up to looking over the ocean and Monte Carlo at the top. Then the tune became playful and quick, I smiled as I remembered him teasing me on the beach and me pushing him in the water.  The song took on an almost sultry tune as I thought about how I had teased Charles at dinner before becoming bouncy and happy as I remembered the club and truth or dare. It became whimsical as I reminisced about looking at the stars and the kiss in the ocean. But then the song became forceful and fast, I blushed as I thought back on our night together after we got back. But I closed it out with a soft, hopeful part and smiled to myself as I thought about the conversations we had had about the future.

As the last note faded into oblivion, I was brought back to reality. It took me a minute to collect myself afterwards. I had just poured my heart out for the first time in a very long time and actually created something lovely and not just angry. Putting the piano away, I stood up and headed towards my father's study. There were two notifications from instagram on my phone.

📸 alexander.montage added to story:

📸 charles_leclerc posted:

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📸 charles_leclerc posted:

📸 charles_leclerc posted:

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❤️ 80k likes Liked by pierregasly

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❤️ 80k likes Liked by pierregasly

charles_leclerc I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky🤍

danielricciardo JPG coming???👀
>>>> charles_leclerc keep a look out👀
>>>> landonorris that's our thing, find your own thing😡

ines_ducourt official photographer of kathrine.montagne
>>>> kathrine.montagne that's why I keep him around
>>>> charles_leclerc I like to think there are other reasons too like I also make breakfast

ferrarisprincess his caption continues the song she referenced in her story of him earlier 🥰🥰
>>>>f1fan16_55 the song is Baby, I'm Yours by Arctic Monkeys
>>>>monacotomonza they are too cute

royaltychaser shouldn't she be doing something royal?🙄
>>>>alexander.montagne she's always a royal pain
>>>>kathrine.montagne no, you alexander.montagne

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