Turning Pages- Carina DeLuca

Time To Face Reality

Carina felt physically sick to her stomach. As she paced the bathroom, she was sure she would throw up at any moment. Trying to control her breathing, she closed her eyes and leaned against a wall. I won't even be gone a couple of hours. She told herself. Her therapy appointment was today, and she had to leave soon. Her nerves were definitely settling in.

The appointment itself was not something she was looking forward to. She was also leaving Eliana for the first time ever. Not to mention Maya's first time being completely alone with her. From a logical standpoint, she knew everything would be fine. However, logic was not on her side at the moment.

"Babe, are you all right?" A voice came from outside the door. Crap. I've been in here too long. While she blew out a breath and ran her hand over her face, Carina couldn't help but think to herself. As she stepped out of the bathroom, her gaze was drawn to Maya and their daughter.

"I'm fine." Carina smiled slightly. Maya looked at her like she didn't believe her for a second. She knew why her wife was nervous, and truth be told, she was, too. Except, her panic was internal. She smiled softly.

"We'll be fine." Although she tried to reassure her wife, she also tried to believe it herself. As this was the first time alone with their daughter without her wife around, she was entitled to be a little nervous. Nevertheless, they would survive. Carina sighed.

"You will, I know it." After a moment's pause, she continued. "Logically." She smiled softly as she paused once again. "Okay, I gotta get going." She kissed her wife and then their daughter. "I love you, bambina. Mama has to go. I'll see you later, sweetie." A soft whisper escaped her lips before she looked at Maya and sighed. "I love you guys."

"We love you, too." Maya smiled back softly. She knew this was hard for her wife. Carina glanced around briefly.

"Babe, I think I'll take Aria with me." She smiled slightly. Maya nodded, already assuming she would take the dog.

"That's fine." Maya replied. Carina went and grabbed the dog's leash before calling her over and attaching it to her collar. Then, she grabbed what she needed and reluctantly left.

Carina struggled to walk out of the house. Her whole being screamed to turn around. But she had to keep going. While driving to the clinic, she felt the knot in her stomach tighten. Her only hope was not to suffer a panic attack while driving. She felt pretty close to one right now. Thankfully, she arrived safely at the clinic. As she stepped inside, she knew there was no turning back.

She paced the small space while holding on tight to the leash. As Aria approached Carina, she gently nudged her toward the chair. Her Italian companion seated herself in front of her as they stared at each other. "This is why I brought you." A slight smile appeared on Carina's face as she struggled to control her breathing. "The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can go home." She murmured. Alison came out to get them after a few minutes.

"Carina, how are you?" Alison smiled warmly. As Carina smiled back, she grabbed Aria's leash and got up. Alison could tell that the brunette was nervous from the way she smiled back.

"I'm doing okay." Carina whispered back. Alison looked down and saw Aria next to the woman. It really wasn't a surprise to her that she had brought the dog with her.

"It's good to hear that, and I see you brought Aria." She smiled. Carina laughed softly as she looked at the dog as they headed back to the room.

"Yes, I thought maybe she might want to get out of the house for a bit... and I was a little nervous since this is my first time away from Eliana. But I know she and Maya will be fine." The Italian smiled. Alison nodded as they entered.